Eli is talking SO MUCH! He's really come out of his "sensory fog" as the therapists/specialists call it. He has Sensory Processing Disorder, which is a neurological disorder, affecting the way he experiences the world. All of us take in sensory messages and our brains process and organize them and then we know what is going on around us. Eli doesn't appear to do that very effectively, so he is often overwhelmed by his senses. He has the hardest time with touch (including things touching his mouth and throat, i.e.- feeding trouble!), but he also gets overwhelmed with sound, and he craves vestibular input, which is where his body is, spatially. The good news is that we discovered this early and like many diagnoses, early intervention is everything.
Anyway, Eli was in what they call a "sensory fog" where he was so inundated by sensory messages he wasn't able to continue learning things at his natural rate. But he has absolutely exploded with words in the last few weeks. Today he said 2 sentences: "I love grapes" and "I pooped". I was so proud! :)
One of his grandmas taught him that Santa Claus says "Ho ho ho!" It's adorable. We've been working on "What does Jesus say?" (answer: I love you) WELLLLL, we're not there yet. If you ask E what Jesus says he will either tell you "Ho ho ho!" or "Amen". It is equally adorable, although incorrect.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Friday, November 2, 2012
Happy Adoption Month!!
Yay! It's our month! I personally claim this month for my family, because we wouldn't be here without adoption. FYI- I also claim next month for my family, because it's our famiversary (Our family anniversary). I guess we're a little greedy like that, but the good news is that you can claim months for your family, too. It's okay if it's the same months as us. The months are around for everyone. :)
I'm super excited about adoption month and (spoiler alert!) I plan topester remind everyone about it on my social networks every day this month. Sort of my own twist on the thankfulness challenge where you put something you are thankful for as your status/update on social media everyday in November. And I am darn thankful for adoption!
Today I posted a link to a blog I read, No Greater Joy Mom. Adeye has posted 51 different links to adoption fundraisers for families currently in the adoption process. A friend of mine couldn't see them initially, so if you have that problem, look for the October 31 OR October 23 posts.
I've been perusing the fundraisers and families/stories all morning. ALL of them tug on my heart strings. But one was worthy of an uglycry (Yeah, like I actually have control of that. Hmph.).
Amanda Burlington and her family are adopting a son with special needs from Eastern Europe. You really just need to read what she has to say about going to get her son later this month.
Here is the link if you want to read more of her blog or check out their fundraisers. http://justonemore4us.blogspot.com/2012/10/things.html
From Amanda, at http://justonemore4us.blogspot.com/
My kids.
Things Pryce has missed
All he wants is a family.
I'm super excited about adoption month and (spoiler alert!) I plan to
Today I posted a link to a blog I read, No Greater Joy Mom. Adeye has posted 51 different links to adoption fundraisers for families currently in the adoption process. A friend of mine couldn't see them initially, so if you have that problem, look for the October 31 OR October 23 posts.
I've been perusing the fundraisers and families/stories all morning. ALL of them tug on my heart strings. But one was worthy of an uglycry (Yeah, like I actually have control of that. Hmph.).
Amanda Burlington and her family are adopting a son with special needs from Eastern Europe. You really just need to read what she has to say about going to get her son later this month.
Here is the link if you want to read more of her blog or check out their fundraisers. http://justonemore4us.blogspot.com/2012/10/things.html
From Amanda, at http://justonemore4us.blogspot.com/
There are so many thing I am going to miss out on while I am gone.
My kids.
Thanksgiving
Black Friday aka waking up to watch the crazies.
Buying a Christmas Tree.
Watching the new Twilight movie.
My kids.
But those things do not compare to what he has missed.
But those things do not compare to what he has missed.
Things Pryce has missed
8 years of birthdays
8 years of hugs
8 years of kisses
8 years of having a mama tuck him in .......2,920 nights.
8 Christmas' with a family
Family trips
Family cookouts
The joy of fireworks
A family.
$3,015 is all that stands in the way of him getting a family and us being able to afford to come back home. We have a matching grant of $175!!!!!
Donate $1 and it will turn into $2.
It is like magic!
Please help us get our boy home.
The auction is over it did GREAT!
The giveaway for the purses/tupperware is still going on.
The Scentsy share is still going on!
SOAPS are still being sold.
Scentsy store still helps.
Share for me, for him, for our son who wanted to donate all his birthday money to Pryce.
"All I really want is my brother."
$3,015 is all that stands in the way of him getting a family and us being able to afford to come back home. We have a matching grant of $175!!!!!
Donate $1 and it will turn into $2.
It is like magic!
Please help us get our boy home.
The auction is over it did GREAT!
The giveaway for the purses/tupperware is still going on.
The Scentsy share is still going on!
SOAPS are still being sold.
Scentsy store still helps.
Share for me, for him, for our son who wanted to donate all his birthday money to Pryce.
"All I really want is my brother."
All he wants is a family.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Playoffs......aye carramba
Ty's Pop Warner football team made it to playoffs! Today was the final regular season game and at the end of it a bunch of boys picked up the giant orange gatorade container and tried to dump it on their coach. They weren't QUITE successful, but it was a great moment to watch- pure joy!
I am trying to be very excited for Ty. He LOVES playing tackle football and obviously the playoffs are what everyone is going for. But truthfully I have mixed feelings about it. It's just SUPER difficult to get Ty across town an hour and half before the game, and then there's the hour and a half game, and the fact that they are ALWAYS running behind (making it about a 5 hour event every Saturday, not to mention the travel time all over the largest US city, land-wise), when I've got Eli to contend with. I'm always either begging a ride for Ty, or finding a grandparent for Eli to stay with, or a grandparent to bring Eli just for the game so he's not running amok in the heat for hours on end, and if he's there I don't really get to see Ty play, so what's the point? Ugh, no matter how I work it out it all adds up to mom guilt, every. single. week.
I LOVE that Ty is having fun and a part of a team. I really like his coaches- they're firm with the boys, but they treat them respectfully. They are super personable with the parents. They don't yell very often. They're very straightforward. I DON'T love the mass chaos of this league or the seriousness of the coaches and the board- asking for volunteers to video other teams so they can watch film to prepare for games, telling parents not to post any videos of their kids' games on facebook or youtube until after the season ends (can't give away secrets, or something). I mean, these are kids. It's not college ball or NFL. Also? Apparently breast cancer awareness month is big with the pop warner kids. So much so, I bought Ty pink athletic socks tonight. And pink eye blacks. And pink shoelaces. The part that gets me? No profits from those purchases actually go to support breast cancer research or to help women with breast cancer. Again, this is not the NFL.
All of the things the league/team does that make me crazy aren't really the problem. They're just annoying. What bothers me is that every week I feel like a terrible parent because I can't meet my kids' needs. That makes me stressed and crabby, which you can imagine makes me an even more awesome parent. No.
I was looking forward to the end of the madness. And it's not ending. To be fair, this whole playoff thing is not a surprise. Ty's team is undefeated. I'm not even sure if any team has scored against them. Maybe one touchdown, I don't know. What I do know is now there is no plan. It's week by week (I think), if we win we keep playing. Ty informed me they could go ALL THE WAY TO DISNEY WORLD(!!!). Which would be more impressive if it wasn't 2 hours away, you know? And if the idea of Disney World with all of Eli's sensory issues didn't give me heart palpitations.
I do enjoy it for Ty, it just takes so much orchestrating and feeling indebted to people that by the time I'm at the game I'm no fun anymore. I'm just exhausted.
I'm sure this is exactly what the powers that be had in mind when they ruled that 6th graders would be ineligible to play middle school sports, right?
If you see Ty, please congratulate him! He's worked hard and improved a lot and he's got a great team. They have truly earned their playoff spot. I am really happy for Ty and his team. I'm just less than thrilled for me. It's not a great mix of emotions. :-/
Guatemala Student Sponsorhsips
At the end of August we went to Guatemala to visit some friends that are missionaries there. I have been meaning to write about that trip, but I'm almost not sure where to start. I'll do it soon. I think.
Anyway, while we were there I was walking through the town/village with my friend Danae. She had many stops to make, people to talk to and check in on. One of them was to see a little girl and her mom who ran a tienda (basically a corner store). This little girl was probably in 1st grade and was STRUGGLING to read. Danae had some phonics activities for her and her mom to do together to hopefully build her foundation for reading. Danae went over it with them and the little girl was excited and cheerful about it. Danae told me later that the mom had very little education and could not offer much help to her daughter. That's not uncommon, but it's still not okay with me. The teacher in me was dying inside.
Reading is EVERYTHING!!! Do you remember the TV show Reading Rainbow? Do you remember the theme song? Here it is:
And it's TRUE! Yes, books can take you on a million adventures, but being able to read and write can get you a job that pays a living wage and out of poverty! For some reason, more than the lack of adequate housing, more than the lack of food, the lack of education in Magdalena/Buena Vista, Guatemala just rips my heart out. Obviously the people there need food and they need a structure to live in that keeps out the elements (as opposed to shacks made of cornstalk or cardboard and mud floors full of bacteria and parasites). But I wish everyone could read, too.
When we got back from Guatemala I kept thinking about the problem of kids not learning to read. School is different there. It's free, but students have to bring in school supplies and have uniforms, otherwise they can't go. That's about $90 US dollars, which is approximately 718 quetzales, or almost 2 months rent. Oftentimes families are so poor they send their kids to work in fields, or to gather firewood from the mountain to sell, or to do other odd jobs to help support the family just so they have enough food to eat. So saving almost 2 month's rent to send their kid(s) to school instead of sending them to make money is just plain difficult. Even if they do make the decision and work HARD to send their child(ren) to school, there is no extra help or attention for struggling kids. There are no small groups or intereventions or anything. You either learn or you don't. On top of that, many parents are uneducated and are not able to help their kids if they happen to be struggling. And none of our American friends who live there know anything about a library. There isn't one.
Reflecting on all of these things, I felt like I had to DO something. So I went shopping. I ordered a ton of Spanish and bilingual children's books and early readers. And they are currently sitting in a box in my house waiting for either me to go back to Guat, or someone else who I can beg to send a suitcase full of books with (I know, EVERYONE is going to volunteer, right? Hehe.).
Fortunately my friend Holly is WAAAYY smarter than I am. She and her family are missionaries in Guatemala as well and she does A LOT of helping with homework for the kids in Magdalena. They come to her house after school and she moms them. They use computers, she checks their work, she tells them they need to not wait until the day before a report is due to get started on it, etc. You know, mom homework stuff. Holly either emailed or called me about a month ago with an idea to help many of the kids she knows and sees all the time to either stay in school or go back to school. All they need is sponsors. Duh! So Holly has been getting me pictures and information about the kids there and I have been banging my head against the wall and threatening to throw my computer out the window making cute little paper apples with a picture of each child and some background information. Then I get to take them to our community of faith and hang them on the tree my wonderful mom gave me so that I didn't have to make my own paper tree and amazing, loving believers pick an apple (or two or three or more) and provide $$ for the kid(s) to go to school! How brilliant is that??
And by the way, I am blown away by the people at Journey. In one week we had 75% of the kids sponsored! Un-freaking-real. So Holly is sending me more...=)
And here's the one that made me write this.
Meet Ingrid. She is 15 and in 2nd grade. She really wants to go to school, but her family is poor poor. (If Holly says she is poor poor, there's very little way to describe that. Everyone is poor there. Ingrid's family is the poorest of the poor.) Ingrid had dropped out of school because kids made fun of her glasses.
Guess how old kids are in 2nd grade? 7 or 8. Ingrid is twice that. But she wants to learn and I love that so much! She either didn't wear her glasses for the picture, or she doesn't have them anymore. I'm THRILLED that she ever had glasses to begin with, because very, very few people get to see an eye doctor there. This also makes me think that she is probably close to blind without them, otherwise why would her family have gone to the effort to get them in the first place, whenever that was?
Anyway, I just want to squeeze Ingrid and wear my glasses with her. I know she will be sponsored quickly and I'm already thanking God for that, even though it hasn't happened yet!
It has been a ton of work getting things ready for these kids to be sponsored and my youngest kid hasn't made things any easier on me while I'm trying to get it all done, but it's also been a COMPLETE JOY. I am humbled that God would have me serve these kids. I am completely invigorated
And now I hear a crying baby. Adios!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Library!
Boy was I wrong! What happened to the library??? When I was a kid they had books, story time once a week, and plain dot-matrix printer paper and old crayons to make masterpieces with. Which was fine with me, I liked all of those things. My boys? Well, those things wouldn't hold their attention for more than 12 seconds. But the library has SO MUCH MORE THAN BOOKS these days! They have puzzles and trucks and activity tables and a little people farm and a kitchen set and so much more! There must have been a dozen toddlers and preschoolers in the play area and there was more than enough stuff to play with. Eli had such a great that he had a grandiose fit when it was time to go. And now he's refusing to nap.
We will definitely be going back to the library!
Sunday, September 9, 2012
So, it's been awhile. A lot has been happening, and not a lot has been happening, all at the same time. Ty started middle school. I had a birthday. (No, I really am 29, I promise!) We went to Guatemala and back. The kids are doing well, we're settled pretty nicely into our house (if you ignore the boxes that are still mostly everywhere).
My friends aren't doing well, though. It's been weighing pretty heavy on me.
Have you ever read the book The Giver, by Lois Lowry? It is one of my all time faves. I'm not going to explain it, just go read it if you haven't. You can thank me later. :)
I feel a tiny bit like the main character in The Giver, who takes on all the pain and suffering for the Utopian society. I'm not trying to be dramatic, I only said a tiny bit. But some of my friends are going through some of the most terrible, unspeakable things right now, through no fault of their own. Disrupted adoption, cancer, infidelity of the worst kind, abuse, heart attack (healthy! young! shocking!), alcoholism. I'm so very sad. It feels as though I am grieving for my friends. They are broken and I feel broken with them. I recognize that all of these things aren't mine to completely own all by myself. I also recognize that there's not a heck of a lot I can do about any of these circumstances. I can pray and I can be an encouragement, but mostly I get to watch my friends go through these super sucky things. I am not a fan.
One thing I have observed is other friends circling the wagons and showing up for the friends who are struggling. It is awe-inspiring. Friends who have had little communication for 10+ years have shown up with a hug and dragged a struggling friend to dinner so they could get their mind off things for a little while. Or sent a care package. Or called. By and large, it appears people have been kind and supportive to my friends, and not complete a-holes, which is awesome!
Even though I'm writing about how broken I feel, I'm so much better than I was at the beginning of the weekend. On Friday night I was a foul person on the inside. I couldn't talk or think. I tried to talk to Jerry and of course I burst into tears. After seeing all the love the past few days, and a good amount of prayerful meditation, it's not quite as bad. I'm not quite as burdened. Don't get me wrong, it's bad. So many of my friends have to go to work tomorrow and function and pretend everything is fine, when it most certainly is not fine. But I don't think any of them feel completely alone. I think they know they have people there to catch them. I hope they know. I hope they remember when tomorrow comes.
If you know anyone that is hurting, please reach out to them. You don't have to know what to say. I don't ever know what to say. That's mostly why I give people bible verses. I figure God's words are far superior to mine anyway. But when someone is struggling, it's easy for them to feel alone. Just knowing that someone is thinking about them and cares about them makes a big difference. Who knows? Maybe you reaching out to encourage someone will be an encouragement for someone else to reach out as well!
My friends aren't doing well, though. It's been weighing pretty heavy on me.
"When you go through deep waters I will be with you." Isaiah 43:2
Have you ever read the book The Giver, by Lois Lowry? It is one of my all time faves. I'm not going to explain it, just go read it if you haven't. You can thank me later. :)
I feel a tiny bit like the main character in The Giver, who takes on all the pain and suffering for the Utopian society. I'm not trying to be dramatic, I only said a tiny bit. But some of my friends are going through some of the most terrible, unspeakable things right now, through no fault of their own. Disrupted adoption, cancer, infidelity of the worst kind, abuse, heart attack (healthy! young! shocking!), alcoholism. I'm so very sad. It feels as though I am grieving for my friends. They are broken and I feel broken with them. I recognize that all of these things aren't mine to completely own all by myself. I also recognize that there's not a heck of a lot I can do about any of these circumstances. I can pray and I can be an encouragement, but mostly I get to watch my friends go through these super sucky things. I am not a fan.
One thing I have observed is other friends circling the wagons and showing up for the friends who are struggling. It is awe-inspiring. Friends who have had little communication for 10+ years have shown up with a hug and dragged a struggling friend to dinner so they could get their mind off things for a little while. Or sent a care package. Or called. By and large, it appears people have been kind and supportive to my friends, and not complete a-holes, which is awesome!
Even though I'm writing about how broken I feel, I'm so much better than I was at the beginning of the weekend. On Friday night I was a foul person on the inside. I couldn't talk or think. I tried to talk to Jerry and of course I burst into tears. After seeing all the love the past few days, and a good amount of prayerful meditation, it's not quite as bad. I'm not quite as burdened. Don't get me wrong, it's bad. So many of my friends have to go to work tomorrow and function and pretend everything is fine, when it most certainly is not fine. But I don't think any of them feel completely alone. I think they know they have people there to catch them. I hope they know. I hope they remember when tomorrow comes.
If you know anyone that is hurting, please reach out to them. You don't have to know what to say. I don't ever know what to say. That's mostly why I give people bible verses. I figure God's words are far superior to mine anyway. But when someone is struggling, it's easy for them to feel alone. Just knowing that someone is thinking about them and cares about them makes a big difference. Who knows? Maybe you reaching out to encourage someone will be an encouragement for someone else to reach out as well!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
marriage advice and the devil created insurance
Frequently at wedding showers and weddings and other matrimonial events there is the "advice for the bride and groom" aspect where you write some words of wisdom for the happy couple. I get a kick out it. We did it at our wedding and we got some real winners. A lot of well wishes and a few hoots. My favorite was a friend's mom who basically said: people say you can't change a man, but if something is very important to you and you try for a few decades, you might make a dent. I still remember that and it still cracks me up!
I always have the same 2 things to say to people getting married. 1: remember who you married and don't expect them to be or do anything differently after you are married. They will grow and change, and so will you, but he's NOT going to suddenly start picking his socks up off the floor. So don't waste your time getting mad about the socks because you knew that would happen going into it. 2: whatever you are arguing about in the beginning of your marriage is the same thing you will argue about forever. Seriously. We really only ever have one argument. The occurrence and intensity of the disagreement waxes and wanes, but it's the same thing. Everyone has their thing they disagree on.
But then we had kids. And there was some variety to the disagreements and an initial large uptick in occurrence**. But that's tapered off. Recently, we had our first "fight" since having kids. A heated debate, if you will. And it was about something new! How exciting! Wait for it.....wait for it......INSURANCE!! Yes, while we agree that the devil created insurance, we disagreed that we disagree about how to go about contesting our many denied claims. Which really, is just proof that the devil created insurance.
**I do not recommend having simultaneous children***, which is any form of multiple children arriving in your family separately, but within a close time frame. In the same way that I do not recommend going surfing if you cannot swim.
***I love my children dearly and I would fight anyone to the death that tried to harm them or separate my family. But if I had known ahead of time what the past 2 years would entail, there's a chance I would have found a very large cliff somewhere in this very flat state.
(Our heated debate is over. We have found common ground.)
I always have the same 2 things to say to people getting married. 1: remember who you married and don't expect them to be or do anything differently after you are married. They will grow and change, and so will you, but he's NOT going to suddenly start picking his socks up off the floor. So don't waste your time getting mad about the socks because you knew that would happen going into it. 2: whatever you are arguing about in the beginning of your marriage is the same thing you will argue about forever. Seriously. We really only ever have one argument. The occurrence and intensity of the disagreement waxes and wanes, but it's the same thing. Everyone has their thing they disagree on.
But then we had kids. And there was some variety to the disagreements and an initial large uptick in occurrence**. But that's tapered off. Recently, we had our first "fight" since having kids. A heated debate, if you will. And it was about something new! How exciting! Wait for it.....wait for it......INSURANCE!! Yes, while we agree that the devil created insurance, we disagreed that we disagree about how to go about contesting our many denied claims. Which really, is just proof that the devil created insurance.
**I do not recommend having simultaneous children***, which is any form of multiple children arriving in your family separately, but within a close time frame. In the same way that I do not recommend going surfing if you cannot swim.
***I love my children dearly and I would fight anyone to the death that tried to harm them or separate my family. But if I had known ahead of time what the past 2 years would entail, there's a chance I would have found a very large cliff somewhere in this very flat state.
(Our heated debate is over. We have found common ground.)
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Dear Baltimore Public School Board...UPDATED
I was reading through some projects on donorschoose.org when I came across this one by a teacher from Baltimore.
(Great site! You can make a huge difference in a classroom near you, or far from you, if you wish. Teachers create projects that need funding-usually a couple hundred $$ total-and you read through and help fund them. $5 here or there adds up to a lot of students and teachers getting their needs met and wishes granted. Many of the projects are for educational rugs for carpet time in elementary classes, or books for classroom libraries, or specific school supplies, technology such as document cameras or LCD projectors, etc.)
This specific project is for a teacher whose classroom windows are mostly bolted shut, with no A/C. She said her classroom regularly reached 95 degrees or higher in the early fall and again in the spring. And at first I thought I wanted to help fund the project. But then Jerry and I talked about it, talked about all of the things teachers ask for that you'd think the district would provide (you'd be wrong about that), and we had some strong feelings about this project. So we decided to do something. I wrote the following email to the Baltimore Public School Board and the Baltimore Sun newspaper:
Hi, I am a former teacher from Florida. I was looking through some projects to consider funding on donorschoose.org. I came across a teacher at Edmondson high school in Baltimore who had created a project (halfway funded already!) to get fans for her classroom. She explained on her project page that broken windows were commonly bolted shut and there is no air conditioning in the school building. She also stated that her classroom regularly got past the 95 degree mark in early fall and again in the spring. This teacher wants 4 fans to create some air circulation so that her students can concentrate better.
My initial reaction was to help fund the project. But my husband and I got to talking about it, and we are both pretty floored at the situation. Is the school district that broke that they have to bolt windows shut instead of fixing them and/or can't provide adequate fans?
I'm not from Baltimore, but I live in a school district with plenty of problems. I also taught at a school in a low income area for several years, so I'm not phased by many of the seeming necessities that fall by the wayside. But air circulation and indoor school environments such as the one at Edmondson HS seem like one of those necessities that shouldn't be ignored.
I have to think that it's true, seeing as how it's an active project on a pretty well known fundraising website. But I also want to doubt it, because I don't want this to really be happening in any classroom in America.
Here is the project page:
http://www.donorschoose.org/
project/be-a-fan-of-english-
Thank you for your time and expertise,
Lisa Watterson
Do I think anything will happen? Probably not. But now I know the people who should be taking care of this actually know about it. And I'm going to keep an eye on Ms. Guldin's project. But wouldn't it be great if the school board actually put in windows that open? A girl can dream...
UPDATE:
I received the following email from the education beat writer at the Baltimore Sun:
Hi:
I can't say that I know it is true because I haven't been in her classroom, but I do know that there's a well documented crisis in the state of the buildings. The City Council has just passed a bottle tax to try to provide more money for construction and renovation of buildings. The ACLU did a lengthy report on some alternative funding options that could be used to renovate buildings and the school system recently released a report that said about $2 billion is needed to renovate buildings. In Baltimore City and Baltimore County, only about half of schools are air-conditioned.
Could I excerpt part of your email in a blog post for our blog, Inside Ed?
Thanks,
Liz
I haven't seen anything on the blog Inside Ed. In fact, it appears to have not been updated since March, but perhaps I'm just confused. If I hear anything else, I will I will update this post again.
I have not heard a peep from the Baltimore Public School Board. Hmmmm....
(Great site! You can make a huge difference in a classroom near you, or far from you, if you wish. Teachers create projects that need funding-usually a couple hundred $$ total-and you read through and help fund them. $5 here or there adds up to a lot of students and teachers getting their needs met and wishes granted. Many of the projects are for educational rugs for carpet time in elementary classes, or books for classroom libraries, or specific school supplies, technology such as document cameras or LCD projectors, etc.)
This specific project is for a teacher whose classroom windows are mostly bolted shut, with no A/C. She said her classroom regularly reached 95 degrees or higher in the early fall and again in the spring. And at first I thought I wanted to help fund the project. But then Jerry and I talked about it, talked about all of the things teachers ask for that you'd think the district would provide (you'd be wrong about that), and we had some strong feelings about this project. So we decided to do something. I wrote the following email to the Baltimore Public School Board and the Baltimore Sun newspaper:
Hi, I am a former teacher from Florida. I was looking through some projects to consider funding on donorschoose.org. I came across a teacher at Edmondson high school in Baltimore who had created a project (halfway funded already!) to get fans for her classroom. She explained on her project page that broken windows were commonly bolted shut and there is no air conditioning in the school building. She also stated that her classroom regularly got past the 95 degree mark in early fall and again in the spring. This teacher wants 4 fans to create some air circulation so that her students can concentrate better.
My initial reaction was to help fund the project. But my husband and I got to talking about it, and we are both pretty floored at the situation. Is the school district that broke that they have to bolt windows shut instead of fixing them and/or can't provide adequate fans?
I'm not from Baltimore, but I live in a school district with plenty of problems. I also taught at a school in a low income area for several years, so I'm not phased by many of the seeming necessities that fall by the wayside. But air circulation and indoor school environments such as the one at Edmondson HS seem like one of those necessities that shouldn't be ignored.
I have to think that it's true, seeing as how it's an active project on a pretty well known fundraising website. But I also want to doubt it, because I don't want this to really be happening in any classroom in America.
Here is the project page:
http://www.donorschoose.org/
project/be-a-fan-of-english-
Thank you for your time and expertise,
Lisa Watterson
Do I think anything will happen? Probably not. But now I know the people who should be taking care of this actually know about it. And I'm going to keep an eye on Ms. Guldin's project. But wouldn't it be great if the school board actually put in windows that open? A girl can dream...
UPDATE:
I received the following email from the education beat writer at the Baltimore Sun:
Hi:
I can't say that I know it is true because I haven't been in her classroom, but I do know that there's a well documented crisis in the state of the buildings. The City Council has just passed a bottle tax to try to provide more money for construction and renovation of buildings. The ACLU did a lengthy report on some alternative funding options that could be used to renovate buildings and the school system recently released a report that said about $2 billion is needed to renovate buildings. In Baltimore City and Baltimore County, only about half of schools are air-conditioned.
Could I excerpt part of your email in a blog post for our blog, Inside Ed?
Thanks,
Liz
I haven't seen anything on the blog Inside Ed. In fact, it appears to have not been updated since March, but perhaps I'm just confused. If I hear anything else, I will I will update this post again.
I have not heard a peep from the Baltimore Public School Board. Hmmmm....
Monday, August 6, 2012
You are not alone- for the kids
A friend of mine was recently consecrated as a deacon and I went to her consecration service. Afterwards I was sort of standing around, only knowing a few people, when I spotted a bulletin board for youth events. This little gem was pinned among some pictures. Maybe I'm just over-sensitive right now because MY BABY IS GOING TO MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!!!!! But I thought it was such a great reminder for the kids and for the rest of us. too. We're not alone.
I think I might print this and tape it inside the cover of Ty's planner. We can all use some extra encouragement sometimes.
In case you can't read it, it says, "You are not alone. In the midst of school and sports and life just know that a whole team, the tribe called the Trinity, goes with you. You never sit at your school cafeteria table alone. The Father is right across from you to hear your prayers, the Son is at his right hand to defend your soul (from a bully named Satan), and the Holy Spirit is sitting next to you to encourage, coach, and strengthen you. The Trinity is in and around you- you are not alone."
I'm the new Safety Patrol!
Eli was up early one day and I was desperate for a few more winks. So I brought him into my bed. Obviously, he was not going to be sleeping, but he climbed on me, he climbed on Jerry, he played with the remote control, and I closed my eyes for a few minutes. Then he picked up my glasses. And I should have taken them away immediately. But the first thing he did was hold them up to his face, which was so stinkin' cute! The second thing he did was yank the ear piece clear off the frames. Aw, crap.
I suffered through a couple days with no glasses. I usually wear contacts, but I do use my glasses in the mornings and evenings. I was dreading the whole eye exam, wait 2 weeks for new glasses, $$$ rigmarole. I stopped at the walmart vision center and asked the technician if my glasses could be saved. She took one look at them and said, "Nope. No way." Sigh. Then she said she could possibly find frames to fit the lenses and could pop them in right then. God bless her, she went to the cheapest section of the wall of frames and started trying frames and lenses like puzzle pieces. She picked up one awfully pink pair said she thought they'd work and would they be okay? Well, um, in my head I was thinking that they looked like a 10-year-old girl picked them out, but this woman was going to work a glasses miracle for cheap and my choices were slim, so I quickly agreed. She took them to a back room to apply some heat and stretch the plastic frames around my prescription lenses. She came back with a fully functional pair of pink plastic glasses with butterflies on the ear pieces. And she rang me up for $25. And I was out of walmart in less than 10 minutes. God bless that vision tech lady.
Now I look like the safety patrol of my house. I'm sure my family would say I'm pretty bossy, so at least I have a reason now. I have to live up to the nature of the glasses-wearing, patrol belt-bearing, know it all, 5th grade girl. Duh.
Some of the things God says about adoption
I read a blog called Momastery.com (it's awesome if you're into loving people and having hope that the world isn't as terrible as rush hour traffic and walmart make you think). The writer there has created a word, "brutiful", for things that are completely brutal and beautiful at the same time. Adoption is brutiful.
It's brutal because there is a mother and (possibly) father who either chose or were forced (by a judge) to no longer be parents. There is a child that has suffered complete separation from his/her mother. It's brutal. Whether it's a mother that decided her baby would be better off with an adoptive family or a mother who neglected her child and therefore her parental rights were removed, adoption is brutal. It hurts. I find it difficult to think of a heart pain more crushing than feeling like your family didn't want you. Regardless of the circumstances, nearly every child who is adopted feels this. As an adoptive family, there's nothing you can do about it.
But adoption is so beautiful, it's almost magical. How do these children capture the hearts of their mothers and fathers, when their mothers have not felt them kicking in the womb and known them from their first breath? How do these children have love and trust for their parents when they have holes in their hearts for their biological parents? How is it possible for children who share no bloodlines with their families, who may be different races than their families, and who may have been adopted closer to adulthood than infancy, to look and act and sound like their parents and brothers and sisters? It happens over time, but it happens. It is such a gift.
Since becoming a mom through adoption, I feel like I have the tiniest little itty-bitty shred of an idea of the way that God loves us. God loves us SO MUCH. I wasn't born into God's family, but he grafted me in (Romans 11:11-22). Just because He loves me. Sometimes, when we're having a particularly bad day at our house, I am so humbled. Because on those days I see that Ty is doubting the love. He doesn't quite believe he is really loved, or really could be loved, or capable of being loved. He can't quite wrap his head around this idea that we will always love him, no matter what, he doesn't have to earn it and he can't do anything to get rid of it. And he rages against us because this love thing is a little too unbelievable. And I do that with God. I doubt that He REALLY has my best interest at heart, or that He's REALLY going to come through on something that I thought He told me, because it's taking longer than I thought and I don't deserve it, so why would He? It turns out, because He loves me. And because He loves you. Just because.
It's really easy to find bible verses pertaining to adoption with a simple internet search. There are tons, but these are the ones I have collected. My favorite is Genesis 33:5. (There is one translation that reads, "These are the children the Lord saw fit to bless me with." Yup.)
Genesis 33:5
5 Then Esau looked up and saw the women and children. “Who are these with you?” he asked.
Jacob answered, “They are the children God has graciously given your servant. ”
Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.
James 1:27
Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.
Psalms 68:5-6
Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.
Isaiah 1:17
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.
Proverbs 31:8-9
And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.
Matthew 18:5
In you the orphan finds mercy.
Hosea 14:3
Never take advantage of any widow or orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, you can be sure that I will hear their cry.
Exodus 22:22-23
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."
Romans 8:14-16
But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.
Galatians 4:4-6
You are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more.
Psalm 10: 14, 17-18
It's brutal because there is a mother and (possibly) father who either chose or were forced (by a judge) to no longer be parents. There is a child that has suffered complete separation from his/her mother. It's brutal. Whether it's a mother that decided her baby would be better off with an adoptive family or a mother who neglected her child and therefore her parental rights were removed, adoption is brutal. It hurts. I find it difficult to think of a heart pain more crushing than feeling like your family didn't want you. Regardless of the circumstances, nearly every child who is adopted feels this. As an adoptive family, there's nothing you can do about it.
But adoption is so beautiful, it's almost magical. How do these children capture the hearts of their mothers and fathers, when their mothers have not felt them kicking in the womb and known them from their first breath? How do these children have love and trust for their parents when they have holes in their hearts for their biological parents? How is it possible for children who share no bloodlines with their families, who may be different races than their families, and who may have been adopted closer to adulthood than infancy, to look and act and sound like their parents and brothers and sisters? It happens over time, but it happens. It is such a gift.
Since becoming a mom through adoption, I feel like I have the tiniest little itty-bitty shred of an idea of the way that God loves us. God loves us SO MUCH. I wasn't born into God's family, but he grafted me in (Romans 11:11-22). Just because He loves me. Sometimes, when we're having a particularly bad day at our house, I am so humbled. Because on those days I see that Ty is doubting the love. He doesn't quite believe he is really loved, or really could be loved, or capable of being loved. He can't quite wrap his head around this idea that we will always love him, no matter what, he doesn't have to earn it and he can't do anything to get rid of it. And he rages against us because this love thing is a little too unbelievable. And I do that with God. I doubt that He REALLY has my best interest at heart, or that He's REALLY going to come through on something that I thought He told me, because it's taking longer than I thought and I don't deserve it, so why would He? It turns out, because He loves me. And because He loves you. Just because.
It's really easy to find bible verses pertaining to adoption with a simple internet search. There are tons, but these are the ones I have collected. My favorite is Genesis 33:5. (There is one translation that reads, "These are the children the Lord saw fit to bless me with." Yup.)
Genesis 33:5
5 Then Esau looked up and saw the women and children. “Who are these with you?” he asked.
Jacob answered, “They are the children God has graciously given your servant. ”
Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.
James 1:27
Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.
Psalms 68:5-6
Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.
Isaiah 1:17
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.
Proverbs 31:8-9
And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.
Matthew 18:5
In you the orphan finds mercy.
Hosea 14:3
Never take advantage of any widow or orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, you can be sure that I will hear their cry.
Exodus 22:22-23
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."
Romans 8:14-16
But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.
Galatians 4:4-6
You are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more.
Psalm 10: 14, 17-18
Why I'm not sad for school to start
1. I am no longer a teacher.
2. Ty needs someONE and someTHING to focus all of his attention and energy on besides me. Seriously. He's an awesome kid. But he also has a lot of stuff inside and when he's not at school all day everyday he unloads it on me. Generally speaking, kids are their worst for their moms. Generally speaking, adopted kids have a lot of confusing feelings about their moms, even when they have a lot of love for their moms.That's a lot of fun. So, it's been 8 weeks of all of this energy and emotion pointed at me, times 2 moves, equals I'm ready for school to start.
I've kept him busy. He's done summer camp, vacation bible school, surf camp, vacation, and football practice. Now it's his birthday month and he's looking at school starting soon and there's a lot of excitement and anxiety. And it's aimed at me. I'll take it, because I love him and that's what I get for being a mom. I'll help him try to deal with his emotions in a healthy way. That's a slow process. But I will be quite a bit less stressed myself when we're a few weeks into the school year and we've all gotten into the swing of things. Oh summer, you are such fun, please don't go, okay see you next year!
2. Ty needs someONE and someTHING to focus all of his attention and energy on besides me. Seriously. He's an awesome kid. But he also has a lot of stuff inside and when he's not at school all day everyday he unloads it on me. Generally speaking, kids are their worst for their moms. Generally speaking, adopted kids have a lot of confusing feelings about their moms, even when they have a lot of love for their moms.
I've kept him busy. He's done summer camp, vacation bible school, surf camp, vacation, and football practice. Now it's his birthday month and he's looking at school starting soon and there's a lot of excitement and anxiety. And it's aimed at me. I'll take it, because I love him and that's what I get for being a mom. I'll help him try to deal with his emotions in a healthy way. That's a slow process. But I will be quite a bit less stressed myself when we're a few weeks into the school year and we've all gotten into the swing of things. Oh summer, you are such fun, please don't go, okay see you next year!
Things I have recently made that have gone really well
I have recently made two new food items and a household item that I was pretty pleased with. I got all of the "recipes" from the interweb, but the shared success is a result of reading all of the comments I could find on these recipes, because people often point things out that I am either too stupid or busy to realize OR everyone has the same problem with a recipe and someone comes along and fixes it and I can avoid all the problems by reading the comments.
So, I made Italian Beef sandwiches, laundry soap, and funfetti cookies. In that order. Ty dubbed the sandwiches "better than firehouse or subway" (heck, yeah!) and also requested them for his birthday. When Istupidly questioned if he really wanted the sandwiches instead of the previously requested Little Caesar's pizza, he quickly rescinded. BUT, it was a nice gesture from an almost-teenager.
1. Italian beef. A friend gave me a recipe for these years ago and I made them and they were SO SPICY that Jerry and I couldn't even eat them and I never made them again. I never forgot about them, either, I just needed a bit milder of a recipe. I think I read 900+ versions of italian beef sandwich recipes the week before I made them. Here's my new, less spicy version:
I put a couple of pounds of some kind of beef roast in the crock pot with 1 can of beef broth, 1/2 jar of pepperocini juice and 8 pepperocinis, 1 bottle (or can) of beer, 1 chopped onion, several smashed garlic cloves (maybe 5 or 6), and random italian spices. Let it cook on low all day. Shred with forks. place beef on crusty rolls, with provolone cheese and broil in the oven until cheese melts but not long enough for the bread to burn. Generally this is a couple of minutes, but I'm new to broiling so keep your eye on it. Otherwise your meal with be RUINED! Not really, you can use a bread knife and slice off the layer of over-toasted bread. But it's easier if you pull it out of the oven before that happens.
This is really good with a side of roasted veggies. Look up your own recipe for that. Or share your veggie roasting secrets with me, because mine are just a touch on the soggy side.
2. Laundry soap. I know, I'm not super granola or green or THAT cheap, but I pinned a laundry soap recipe on pinterest and I just had the urge to go for it. So I did.
Here's the link for the recipe I used: http://www.howdoesshe.com/cheaper-and-better-diy-laundry-detergent
Here's what I did:
a box of borax (they only had 1 size box at walmart)
4 lbs baking soda
1 box of arm and hammer super washing soda (it's in the laundry aisle by the borax)
1 container of oxyclean
2 bars of zote soap OR 5-6 bars of fels naptha soap. In the laundry aisle. (If they have the powdered version of the zote soap get it, you will save yourself most of the work of making this stuff)
1-2 bottles of purex crystals or downy unstoppables (just for scent, get what you like. I got 1 bottle and it was fine)
(As noted in the comments on the original recipe) It would be helpful to have a 5 gallon bucket with a tight fitting lid and small children to roll the bucket around. I didn't have the bucket, so I couldn't use the children for rolling.
The only real work involved is grating the bars of soap. I got Ty to do it with me. I grated 5 in the time it took him to grate 1, but that's okay, we were working together to accomplish a goal AND watching the olympics, so win-win.
Anyway, once you grate the soap, mix all the ingredients up in a very large container of some kind. It's pretty dense, so I poured it back and forth between 2 containers several times. or you could try layering and mixing. Or the giant bucket + lid + children method.
It costs about $28 for all the ingredients (minus the bucket and children. Children are expensive and it takes years of raising them before they can help with such tasks, so don't have some just so you can make laundry soap.)
You can use a coffee scoop ($1 at walmart) and measure 1 scoopful for each load. Put it in the drum before you load your clothes. It is allegedly safe for HE washers. As for it's effectivenes? Eh, my clothes seem no cleaner or dirtier than they were with other laundry detergents. I'm trying to figure out if it's having any effect on the colors. Sometimes I think some of my clothes are dingier, but then I realize it's my 11-year-old's socks and those things haven't been white since the day I bought them, sooo.....yeah, it seems to work fine and it does smell good. And I'm just so dang proud of myself for MAKING LAUNDRY SOAP that I'm getting a little giddy about doing the laundry these days. Yeah, that'll last....
3. Funfetti cookies. Alright, why have I never heard of these and why has no one made them for me and why has no one told me about them????? SO EASY!!!!
1 box of funfetti cake mix (or any flavor, really)
2 eggs
1/4-1/3 cup oil
Mix ingredients until moist. Drop by spoonfuls onto a baking sheet. Bake for 10ish minutes at 350*.
In reading comments on versions of this recipe I discovered that pillsbury has apparently reduced the amount of cake mix in a box from 18oz to 15.5oz. You didn't know that doughboy was so stingy, did you? Anyway, it seems that if your cake mix is 18oz you will need 1/3 cup and if it's 15.5oz you will need a little less. Mine was 15.5 and I used about a 1/4 cup of oil and it turned out fine.
The other secret to these things seems to be to let them cool on the pan for about 2 minutes before you transfer them to a cooling rack. They're very soft at first, but give 'em a minute and they'll come off in whole cookies instead of crumbling for smooshing.
Also, I read if you are making chocolate cookies with chocolate cake mix you should add a bit of water. I'd mix them up first, then add water by the teaspoonful.
You can also add chocolate chips (or any flavor baking chips) or nuts or oatmeal, allegedly.
So there you go, these are the things that went well for me in the past week. If you have any cool things to make, let me know!
So, I made Italian Beef sandwiches, laundry soap, and funfetti cookies. In that order. Ty dubbed the sandwiches "better than firehouse or subway" (heck, yeah!) and also requested them for his birthday. When I
1. Italian beef. A friend gave me a recipe for these years ago and I made them and they were SO SPICY that Jerry and I couldn't even eat them and I never made them again. I never forgot about them, either, I just needed a bit milder of a recipe. I think I read 900+ versions of italian beef sandwich recipes the week before I made them. Here's my new, less spicy version:
I put a couple of pounds of some kind of beef roast in the crock pot with 1 can of beef broth, 1/2 jar of pepperocini juice and 8 pepperocinis, 1 bottle (or can) of beer, 1 chopped onion, several smashed garlic cloves (maybe 5 or 6), and random italian spices. Let it cook on low all day. Shred with forks. place beef on crusty rolls, with provolone cheese and broil in the oven until cheese melts but not long enough for the bread to burn. Generally this is a couple of minutes, but I'm new to broiling so keep your eye on it. Otherwise your meal with be RUINED! Not really, you can use a bread knife and slice off the layer of over-toasted bread. But it's easier if you pull it out of the oven before that happens.
This is really good with a side of roasted veggies. Look up your own recipe for that. Or share your veggie roasting secrets with me, because mine are just a touch on the soggy side.
2. Laundry soap. I know, I'm not super granola or green or THAT cheap, but I pinned a laundry soap recipe on pinterest and I just had the urge to go for it. So I did.
Here's the link for the recipe I used: http://www.howdoesshe.com/cheaper-and-better-diy-laundry-detergent
Here's what I did:
a box of borax (they only had 1 size box at walmart)
4 lbs baking soda
1 box of arm and hammer super washing soda (it's in the laundry aisle by the borax)
1 container of oxyclean
2 bars of zote soap OR 5-6 bars of fels naptha soap. In the laundry aisle. (If they have the powdered version of the zote soap get it, you will save yourself most of the work of making this stuff)
1-2 bottles of purex crystals or downy unstoppables (just for scent, get what you like. I got 1 bottle and it was fine)
(As noted in the comments on the original recipe) It would be helpful to have a 5 gallon bucket with a tight fitting lid and small children to roll the bucket around. I didn't have the bucket, so I couldn't use the children for rolling.
The only real work involved is grating the bars of soap. I got Ty to do it with me. I grated 5 in the time it took him to grate 1, but that's okay, we were working together to accomplish a goal AND watching the olympics, so win-win.
Anyway, once you grate the soap, mix all the ingredients up in a very large container of some kind. It's pretty dense, so I poured it back and forth between 2 containers several times. or you could try layering and mixing. Or the giant bucket + lid + children method.
It costs about $28 for all the ingredients (minus the bucket and children. Children are expensive and it takes years of raising them before they can help with such tasks, so don't have some just so you can make laundry soap.)
You can use a coffee scoop ($1 at walmart) and measure 1 scoopful for each load. Put it in the drum before you load your clothes. It is allegedly safe for HE washers. As for it's effectivenes? Eh, my clothes seem no cleaner or dirtier than they were with other laundry detergents. I'm trying to figure out if it's having any effect on the colors. Sometimes I think some of my clothes are dingier, but then I realize it's my 11-year-old's socks and those things haven't been white since the day I bought them, sooo.....yeah, it seems to work fine and it does smell good. And I'm just so dang proud of myself for MAKING LAUNDRY SOAP that I'm getting a little giddy about doing the laundry these days. Yeah, that'll last....
3. Funfetti cookies. Alright, why have I never heard of these and why has no one made them for me and why has no one told me about them????? SO EASY!!!!
1 box of funfetti cake mix (or any flavor, really)
2 eggs
1/4-1/3 cup oil
Mix ingredients until moist. Drop by spoonfuls onto a baking sheet. Bake for 10ish minutes at 350*.
In reading comments on versions of this recipe I discovered that pillsbury has apparently reduced the amount of cake mix in a box from 18oz to 15.5oz. You didn't know that doughboy was so stingy, did you? Anyway, it seems that if your cake mix is 18oz you will need 1/3 cup and if it's 15.5oz you will need a little less. Mine was 15.5 and I used about a 1/4 cup of oil and it turned out fine.
The other secret to these things seems to be to let them cool on the pan for about 2 minutes before you transfer them to a cooling rack. They're very soft at first, but give 'em a minute and they'll come off in whole cookies instead of crumbling for smooshing.
Also, I read if you are making chocolate cookies with chocolate cake mix you should add a bit of water. I'd mix them up first, then add water by the teaspoonful.
You can also add chocolate chips (or any flavor baking chips) or nuts or oatmeal, allegedly.
So there you go, these are the things that went well for me in the past week. If you have any cool things to make, let me know!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
I think I'm dying...again...
Forget WebMD. You want to really be convinced you are dying? Watch the news. There have been multiple reports this year on flesh-eating bacteria, something I assumed was reserved for campfire stories and BONES. (I've never watched that show, but it just sounds like something that would be discovered on there.)
It turns out flesh-eating bacteria is EVERYWHERE!!!!!! People are losing life and limb to it at an alarming rate. It's happening, folks.
What I have deduced is that in all the cases, the person one day didn't feel good (that's awfully general) and had a rapidly spreading bruise. Then they went to the hospital and either died or lost multiple limbs. What the what??
So, I keep noticing bruises. On my person. And making mental measurements of them so I will be able to tell if they "rapidly spread". I don't mean to do this, but let's say I'm shaving my legs and I see a bruise that I hadn't noticed before. Suddenly I'm trying to figure out how long it has been there- an hour, a day, two days? Then I have to assess the approximate size- a quarter? No, bigger than a quarter, maybe a half dollar? When was the last time I even saw a half dollar? I can't be sure how big one is...
The thing is, I seem to get a lot of bruises these days. No, not like anemia, more like I moved twice in the last 2 months and I have a toddler that has flailing tantrums sometimes on me multiple times a day.
So I'm pretty sure I have flesh-eating bacteria. Again. I hope it resolves itself. Again. ;)
It turns out flesh-eating bacteria is EVERYWHERE!!!!!! People are losing life and limb to it at an alarming rate. It's happening, folks.
What I have deduced is that in all the cases, the person one day didn't feel good (that's awfully general) and had a rapidly spreading bruise. Then they went to the hospital and either died or lost multiple limbs. What the what??
So, I keep noticing bruises. On my person. And making mental measurements of them so I will be able to tell if they "rapidly spread". I don't mean to do this, but let's say I'm shaving my legs and I see a bruise that I hadn't noticed before. Suddenly I'm trying to figure out how long it has been there- an hour, a day, two days? Then I have to assess the approximate size- a quarter? No, bigger than a quarter, maybe a half dollar? When was the last time I even saw a half dollar? I can't be sure how big one is...
The thing is, I seem to get a lot of bruises these days. No, not like anemia, more like I moved twice in the last 2 months and I have a toddler that has flailing tantrums sometimes on me multiple times a day.
So I'm pretty sure I have flesh-eating bacteria. Again. I hope it resolves itself. Again. ;)
Monday, July 23, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Dear Cable Man, I Love You
This move did not go the way I planned. I planned to have at least a week of overlap of time where we had access to 2 houses (old and new) and could move over a couple of days. Hahaha. Part of me is glad that we had to get completely out of the old house before finding the new house. Because it's slightly less obnoxious to focus on moving out before you go into move in mode. Those last 2-3 trips you plan on in a local move always turn into endless last trips and you feel like you'll never be fully moved out. I was spared that mess this time around.
That said, I don't recommend needing temporary housing, especially if you have no idea how long "temporary" will be. I'm so glad our temporary was only 3 weeks. Truly, living with the inlaws went as well or better than I had hoped. They were incredibly gracious about messes and noise and a giant dog, etc. They watched one or both kids while I took one or none to appointments or the grocery store. But the fact is we were living in someone else's space, feeling like we (or me) were imposing, sleeping on a different and smaller bed, trying not to be in the way. I'm so thankful we had somewhere to go.
But I'm so glad we have our own space now. I'm finding all my creature comforts to be even more comfortable and comforting. My bed is so nice. My pictures are so pretty. I feel incredibly shallow. And comfortable.
Today the cable man came. He ended up having to dig a trench and bury a line to the house. Such commitment to cable TV! Or maybe he was just doing his job...either way he made me giddy. Guess what he gave us? A new remote for each cable box- all the buttons work AND there are battery covers on the backs! They are so beautiful!
Now I can watch Project Runway (starts tonight!) and catch up on all the gypsy shows (have you seen these programs? Can't. Stop. Watching!) and order movies at the touch of a button. It's almost too much, it feels like Christmas.
Okay, my DVR has gotten a 20 minute start on Project Runway. I need to go watch some fierce, commercial-free, fashion competition now!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
On advocating for your child
One of the questions that plagues me as a mom is how can I better advocate for my child? Specifically, my adopted child?
My experience thus far tells me that people generally get that babies have a lot of needs, they have routines, they get overwhelmed, etc. People can generally respect the fact that sometimes being the best parent for your baby means you have to go home early or you can't join in the fun event they have planned at all.A lot of the time Sometimes being a parent = no fun for you.
So advocating for my little guy tends to be a bit easier.
Then there's my big guy.Sometimes A lot of the time I'm just not sure how to best advocate for him. I know his most complete possible history, what his triggers are, often why he reacts to behaviors a certain way, and sometimes even what is bubbling under the surface when he wants you to think everything is fine. But not everyone else knows all that, so not everyone knows the best way(s) to interact with him, so often people will say or do things that that mean nothing to rest of the world, but to Ty are earth-shattering. And I'm stuck. Because I want to respect Ty's privacy. His story and his experiences are his to share, but without that explanation people would not get the magnitude of the effect of their behavior on him.
Okay, let's just consider a completely made up scenario:
A child spent several years in foster care after losing his biological family to drugs. In the child's biological family violence was prevalent. When the child went to foster care, it was not the kind of foster home you would wish for a child. It was the kind where the foster parent hurt the children in ways that wouldn't leave physical marks. Verbal abuse abounded with name-calling, such as "worthless" and "stupid", and the foster parent did things like pinch the kids' ears and flick them, so as not to leave evidence of anything for the rare DCF worker that dropped by. At some point the child was adopted into a forever family and then had to begin the arduous task of learning to be a part of a family. The child was so scarred by all the violence and had such reactions to daily tasks and interactions that he was diagnosed with PTSD- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and one of his triggers was the word, "hit". It gave him flashbacks to being physically beaten by his biological family and of his foster parent hurting him. He ran for cover and cowered under his bed whenever he heard the word "hit". Sometimes instead of hiding, hearing his trigger word made him fight back- screaming, hitting, biting, etc. Now, hit is a fairly common word and it is not used to specifically to refer to a beating. It comes up in conversation more often than you think. And the child has very strong reactions, almost every time.
So what should the adoptive mama do? Should she call people before every get-together and request they drop the word "hit" from their vocabulary? Should she send a mass email to everyone that may ever come in contact with her child? If she does either one of those, how much information should she include about her child's history and the PTSD and the beatings, etc.? What about when triggers change? Because this kid is pretty incredible and is responding well to therapy, but sometimes new stuff pops up. So should mama forwarn everyone when new stuff pops up? Is that respectful of her child as a person? Would anyone even want to hang out with her or her kid if she was doing all of the that?
Also, there's the whole issue of other people understanding the severity without having any experience with children like the one described above. Children who have grown up without anyone caring about them develop differently than children who are nurtured. Their brain chemistry is changed due to their environment and so their brains work differently than expected. (And even if you are "used" to this as an adoptive family, you never really get used to a completely different thought process, because you always fall back on your own way of thinking and then have to remind yourself to go back to where in the interaction you lost your lovey and build a bridge together. It makes my brain tired a lot.)
We've been on vacation with extended family for several days. It's been great, but it's been hard. Because even though many of their behaviors/actions/word choices/decisions are completely natural for them and many people across America, they are things that are hard for my little man. They are things that a year ago would have caused a violent outburst. All these relatives really care about Ty. They don't mean to cause him hardship. But we haven't told them everything (I'm not entirely sure what we've told them, or when, and that matters because things change), partly because I want to respect my son and his deepest, darkest secrets, and partly because I'm not entirely sure how to go about telling people that some of their most common behaviors are triggers for my son. AND our belief in parenting Ty is that (in a safe environment) he needs to be exposed to normal things that typically upset him so that he can learn that said behavior is normal, not harmful, and to be tolerated. He's going to have to face these things as an adult and he needs to be prepared. But I don't know to what extent others are going to engage in any of these behaviors/actions/decisions/languages, so do I tell them at some point that enough is enough? Do I warn Ty ahead of time that these things might go on and he needs to prepare himself? I don't want him to make a decision to dislike someone before he even meets them.
It's messy and confusing and unpredictable and at the end of the day he feels discombobulated and I get to clean it all up.
We teach Ty that he can only control himself, he can't control the decisions others make. So where does that leave me on advocating for him? I can't control the decisions others make. If they knew more would they make different choices? How much should I share?
I'm so proud of Ty for all of the progress he has made. I know no other kids of any age that work even half as hard on themselves as Ty does. I know MAYBE 1 adult that can compare to Ty on working on his inner self. And that one adult is the most focused person I have ever met in my life. It's unreal to me how we keep asking our son to improve in specific areas and then he does (with support, but still!). He's the most amazing person I have ever met and the worst part of it is that he doesn't want you to know his real self. He tries to hide it. If I look back to where we were a year ago, two years ago, I feel like RickyBobby, thanking baby Jesus in his shining diapers that we're not there anymore. (It's a prayer of desperation. thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou that we are not there anymore. pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease don't make us go back there. I will do anything. ANYTHING!)
I don't know how to be a better advocate for my son. I don't think I'm doing a particularly stellar job. Being Ty's mom has changed me. People who really know him or know kids like him do the best with him. I think because they're not just treading lightly so as not to cause a disturbance, they are really changed, too. But if you don't know him or any kids like him chances are you haven't been changed. And I don't know how to help you if you're still the same person you were before you met my son. But I want you to have the chance to know him. He's special. His mama says so.
My experience thus far tells me that people generally get that babies have a lot of needs, they have routines, they get overwhelmed, etc. People can generally respect the fact that sometimes being the best parent for your baby means you have to go home early or you can't join in the fun event they have planned at all.
So advocating for my little guy tends to be a bit easier.
Then there's my big guy.
Okay, let's just consider a completely made up scenario:
A child spent several years in foster care after losing his biological family to drugs. In the child's biological family violence was prevalent. When the child went to foster care, it was not the kind of foster home you would wish for a child. It was the kind where the foster parent hurt the children in ways that wouldn't leave physical marks. Verbal abuse abounded with name-calling, such as "worthless" and "stupid", and the foster parent did things like pinch the kids' ears and flick them, so as not to leave evidence of anything for the rare DCF worker that dropped by. At some point the child was adopted into a forever family and then had to begin the arduous task of learning to be a part of a family. The child was so scarred by all the violence and had such reactions to daily tasks and interactions that he was diagnosed with PTSD- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and one of his triggers was the word, "hit". It gave him flashbacks to being physically beaten by his biological family and of his foster parent hurting him. He ran for cover and cowered under his bed whenever he heard the word "hit". Sometimes instead of hiding, hearing his trigger word made him fight back- screaming, hitting, biting, etc. Now, hit is a fairly common word and it is not used to specifically to refer to a beating. It comes up in conversation more often than you think. And the child has very strong reactions, almost every time.
So what should the adoptive mama do? Should she call people before every get-together and request they drop the word "hit" from their vocabulary? Should she send a mass email to everyone that may ever come in contact with her child? If she does either one of those, how much information should she include about her child's history and the PTSD and the beatings, etc.? What about when triggers change? Because this kid is pretty incredible and is responding well to therapy, but sometimes new stuff pops up. So should mama forwarn everyone when new stuff pops up? Is that respectful of her child as a person? Would anyone even want to hang out with her or her kid if she was doing all of the that?
Also, there's the whole issue of other people understanding the severity without having any experience with children like the one described above. Children who have grown up without anyone caring about them develop differently than children who are nurtured. Their brain chemistry is changed due to their environment and so their brains work differently than expected. (And even if you are "used" to this as an adoptive family, you never really get used to a completely different thought process, because you always fall back on your own way of thinking and then have to remind yourself to go back to where in the interaction you lost your lovey and build a bridge together. It makes my brain tired a lot.)
We've been on vacation with extended family for several days. It's been great, but it's been hard. Because even though many of their behaviors/actions/word choices/decisions are completely natural for them and many people across America, they are things that are hard for my little man. They are things that a year ago would have caused a violent outburst. All these relatives really care about Ty. They don't mean to cause him hardship. But we haven't told them everything (I'm not entirely sure what we've told them, or when, and that matters because things change), partly because I want to respect my son and his deepest, darkest secrets, and partly because I'm not entirely sure how to go about telling people that some of their most common behaviors are triggers for my son. AND our belief in parenting Ty is that (in a safe environment) he needs to be exposed to normal things that typically upset him so that he can learn that said behavior is normal, not harmful, and to be tolerated. He's going to have to face these things as an adult and he needs to be prepared. But I don't know to what extent others are going to engage in any of these behaviors/actions/decisions/languages, so do I tell them at some point that enough is enough? Do I warn Ty ahead of time that these things might go on and he needs to prepare himself? I don't want him to make a decision to dislike someone before he even meets them.
It's messy and confusing and unpredictable and at the end of the day he feels discombobulated and I get to clean it all up.
We teach Ty that he can only control himself, he can't control the decisions others make. So where does that leave me on advocating for him? I can't control the decisions others make. If they knew more would they make different choices? How much should I share?
I'm so proud of Ty for all of the progress he has made. I know no other kids of any age that work even half as hard on themselves as Ty does. I know MAYBE 1 adult that can compare to Ty on working on his inner self. And that one adult is the most focused person I have ever met in my life. It's unreal to me how we keep asking our son to improve in specific areas and then he does (with support, but still!). He's the most amazing person I have ever met and the worst part of it is that he doesn't want you to know his real self. He tries to hide it. If I look back to where we were a year ago, two years ago, I feel like RickyBobby, thanking baby Jesus in his shining diapers that we're not there anymore. (It's a prayer of desperation. thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou that we are not there anymore. pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease don't make us go back there. I will do anything. ANYTHING!)
I don't know how to be a better advocate for my son. I don't think I'm doing a particularly stellar job. Being Ty's mom has changed me. People who really know him or know kids like him do the best with him. I think because they're not just treading lightly so as not to cause a disturbance, they are really changed, too. But if you don't know him or any kids like him chances are you haven't been changed. And I don't know how to help you if you're still the same person you were before you met my son. But I want you to have the chance to know him. He's special. His mama says so.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Holy crap, Marie.
We found a house! It's huge! It's a great location for taking Ty to/from school next year. They don't care how big our dog is or that Jerry has a non-traditional job. The house is in my parent's neighborhood. Specifically, it's in their cul-de-sac. Holy crap, Marie.
When my parents moved to Jax several years ago we made jokes about them being "Barone close", as in neighbors, like on the tv show Everybody Loves Raymond. Little did we know one day we'd be sharing a cul-de-sac.
We move in in a few weeks and we are quite excited. I think living so close to my parents is going to great. We are all pretty laid back and no one will be reenacting the Spanish inquisition. We've been living with Jerry's parents for less than a week and I'm already getting spoiled by leaving one or both kids at home with a grandparent if I need to run an errand or have an appointment. So while it will be so nice to have our own space, it will also be more work again. The kids love living with the grandparents now and they're looking forward to moving into the other grandparent's neighborhood. Ty already knows some of the kids there and we are well acquainted with the neighborhood pool/water playground.
The new house has stairs. None of us have ever lived in a house with stairs before. This sounds so silly, but I think it might present a logistical dilemma as we are getting used to life with multiple levels. If anyone has organizational advice for me on how NOT to go up and down 1,000 times a day (with toddler in tow) I'd love to hear it!
Monday, June 25, 2012
We moved! Advice for futures moves.
We sold our house (yahoo!) and moved in with Jerry's dad and step-mom until we find somewhere to go.
I have some advice for anyone thinking of vacating their home and living in a temporary residence.
1. Don't do it.
2. Ok, if you have to, there are worse things in life. Like actually being homeless. So don't refer to yourself as homeless, because while unlikely, you actually could be homeless one day, and that is quite different.
3. Don't use PODS (Portable On Demand Storage). They cost an utter fortune and if you have any problem of any kind, you're on your own, sister!
First, Jerry opened the door of the pod (they are technically called PODS, even if you only have one, but that is awkward to say, so I will just call it a "pod" because I'm the boss around here.). It's like a garage door and there are metal guards that keep it from rolling too high and getting off track. Apparently my husband is the hulk because the door got jammed above the metal guards, which then kept the door from coming down at all. With a bunch of our crap inside. At 7 o'clock at night. The PODS people couldn't have cared less. They told us they didn't know what we were talking about and that there was no one to come look at it, and that they couldn't credit our account at all. They also told us that they did not have the home phone number for the franchisee in Jacksonville. Really? So you sold a franchise to someone and now cannot get in contact with them if they are not in their office? We are not morons. Luckily my dad IS Clark Griswold, so he came over and disassembled part of the door, closed and reassembled it. It was a two hour ordeal from when we realized the thing wouldn't close until my dad got it closed. Did PODS reimburse him for his time, gas, or tools? Nope. But we were thankful that someone could come to the rescue. PODS sent someone the next morning who told me everything looked great. Yup, because my dad fixed it the night before. Thanks for nothing.
4. Don't use PODS. We had to get a second pod delivered. We hated to do it, they are terrible people. But we already had one and it didn't make any sense to get a different variety of pod and send half our stuff somewhere else. So we paid for ANOTHER pod. :( And it was delivered full of COCKROACHES the day before our move!!! I wish I was making this up. Part of the pod directions is to load the pod, then set off a bug bomb (yes, all over your every possession) before it gets picked up. Um, ew. Also, cockroaches, ew. So I set off a bug bomb before loading it. You know, because I had time to make a special trip to walmart to buy one the day before moving. Should you ever have roach problems I do recommend Bengal Gold. It kills roaches on contact for 6 months. That is serious. The Raid Fogger did quite a job as well. And then there were dried up cockroaches with their legs in the air all over my driveway. Those lucky buyers didn't know they were getting shriveled up cockroaches with the house.
5. Don't use PODS. I requested an end of the day pick up for the day of our move. Naturally the PODS people called me at noon to see if we were ready. Because they had 40 pickups that day and they were on my side of town, and they couldn't just show up when everyone wanted them to. So I told the pod man everything I thought about his company and all of the ways they failed at their jobs in my calmest, quietest, serial-killerest voice. And he told me he'd call back in a few hours to see how we were coming.
6. Send your kids to camp the week of your move! This was NOT the original plan, but Ty got sick the week he was suppose to go to camp, so I let him choose which week he made it up. To my surprise and great delight he chose the moving week! I would never have forced that on him, moving in a big, emotional deal. But I think he'd decided he'd had enough packing and crazy mom to last a lifetime, so off to camp he went! And it was waaaaayy easier to get his room cleaned out and packed (THANK YOU MOM!) and the rest of the house packed with only half of my children there to make a mess.
7. If your friends are of the "helpful" variety, send out a list of things that you need help with. I put a list on facebook of what I needed help with and so many people responded. It was amazing. I think people want to help, but they are very busy already and they don't know what specifically they can do. If you tell them, "These 15 things are killing me" it might be easy for someone to stop by on their way to something and pick up your goodwill stuff. Or maybe they are great with tools and can disassemble one or two pieces of furniture or whatnot in a matter of minutes, but it would take you an hour or more. I think this is true of anything you need assistance with in life. Instead of drowning, try asking for specific help. People are actually kind of awesome if given the chance.
HERE IS THE MOST AMAZING MOVING ADVICE IN THE HISTORY OF EVER!! (It's from my helpful, loving friends. I have one specific helpful and loving friend who recently moved and did not provide any advice. She told me she had no advice to give because her move was such a disaster. Stephanie, here's some advice so next time won't be such a disaster!)
1. Start packing one room and do not start a 2nd room until that one is finished.
2. LABEL boxes with as much info as you can. 10 boxes all labeled "Kitchen" is not that helpful when you just need to find one really important thing--take it from one who has been there. :-)
3. Colour code the boxes in each room
4. Pack valuables and breakables up first, because they require more care and time to securely pack. That way as it gets down to crunch time and your're just randomly throwing stuff in giant boxes, you can rest assured that breakables and valuables are safely and perfectly packed up already.
5. Don't try to move with 2 children!....We're moving right now and 1 child unpacks the boxes faster than we can pack them...good luck! :-)
6. Order pizza, open bottle of wine....
7. When we moved last-someone told me to take hanging clothes-7-8 and place black garbage bag over it and it made moving all the hanging clothes easier-put masking tape to write which room.
8. Throw away as much as possible, your new house will accumulate the same junk guaranteed!
9. use towels to pack fragiles...kitchen towels, bath towels. First organize before you start packing getting rid of clothes and things no longer needed. Much less stuff to pack. Do one room at a time. Kitchen last. Anoyne can help pack kitchen dishes but only you can pack you room. Little bits throughout the day. I'll try to think of more. Will be packing here also. :)
10. I'm all about very specific labeling as well!
11. Having just moved to a new place two weeks ago (only moved a mile away and were blessed to spread the move over a week and a half), we were able to pack boxes, move to new place, unpack in the room they were going to be going into, and take boxes back to repack again. That way, some things got set up rather quickly, but then we also had "it's at the other place" moments as well. After moving 11 times in the past 20 years (yikes!), all the above advice is awesome. One thing we haven't done, but I threaten to do after every move, is that if we move again, we are either hiring it out to a moving company, or simply selling every last item (even the kids if they sit too long) and buying a camper. :) Good luck...and I'm keeping you all in my prayers!
12. Really basic, but small boxes for heavy things, larger ones for light things. Bedding and towels can go in big garbage bags. If you purchase white newspaper sheets for packing you wont have to scrub newsprint off your fragile stuff. Send the kids to gramma's house!
13. Hire someone!
14. Go ahead and pack up anything you can live without between now and the move. Packing up a few boxes right away might help you feel motivated and productive instead of overwhelmed. It will also help with the unpacking process once you're in the new house (if something was packed in one of the first boxes, it probably doesn't have to be unpacked right away). Be specific when labeling boxes (what room does it belong in, whose stuff is it, what is inside). Designating one spot in the house for your packed-up boxes to live until the move.
15. If you have to buy boxes, Home Depot has some great ones. We had to buy some there. I labeled specifically on the tops of boxes and then I just wrote a letter on each side (K = kitchen, L = living, J = Jocelyn's room, M = master, and so on) so we could easily take each box where it needed to be as we entered the new place. My only other piece of advice is just to keep making progress. Thinking about packing and moving everything drove me nuts, but just packing one box at a time felt more feasible. Oh, and choose one place in the house to stack most of the boxes as you pack them so you don't feel like you're living in boxland. (You'll feel like that long enough in the new place!) And call me if you need someone to commiserate with! We're in boxville, out of the old house 100% but not settled in the new place yet (just moved in 2.5 weeks ago).
16. Have a moving party! Hire your most trusted friends over for pizza and beer. Tell them that for every box that is packed appropriately and safely they can get a slice of pizza and a beer!
17. Pack everything. hand carrying single items to a truck wastes time & energy. I'd go with the Capt'n Morgan Black Spice Rum. One before the move, one mid-way then finish the bottle after the kids are tucked in. Oh yea because i'm a pastor do not forget to pray.
18. Anything you haven't used in a year can usually be tossed. Throw away as much as you can now (garbage, donate, etc) and unpacking will be much nicer.
I agree that towels and clothes are the best (and cheapest) way to pad breakables. If you want free packing paper, go to Publix on the last day of their sales circular and ask for their remaining old circulars.
Hospitals are the BEST places to get moving boxes. They get thousands of boxes a week and many of them are nice and sturdy. So try a drive by of their dumpster/loading dock area and/or ask to speak to someone in the loading dock area about boxes. Every hospital is different, but many are happy to cut down their garbage bill by giving you as many boxes as you like. My recent move was sponsored by Jackson North Hospital. My brother's by Aventura Hospital. ;) Liquore stores are the second best place to get boxes. You won't find the amount or the variety there, but their boxes are very sturdy. So are boxes for water bottles at the grocery store. If you still don't have enough boxes, try craigslist. Many people advertise their moving boxes in the free section. I once got all expensive uhaul boxes from someone who just wanted to get rid of them after a move.
Make sure that you pack cleaning supplies and tools in a well labeled and accessible box. You will likely need those first and more urgently than most anything else.
I agree that detailed labeling is the way to go. I had 5 kitchen boxes, but couldn't find glasses to give everyone a cold drink after moving for the life of me. I had to run out and buy plastic cups.
Invest in renting (or if you move a lot like me: buying) a handtruck for each of the stronger people who will be helping you move. It makes you much more efficient. I own one and always rent an additional one when I move. They are the most valuable pieces of moving equipment you will use. And unless you are actually moving appliances, don't get the appliance one. It is hard to maneuver.
Best of luck. I hate moving too.
19. A lot if good advice above. A lot of small boxes are better than a few big ones. Pack the truck with a few big items and then fill to the top above them. Usually an improperly truck has the front piled high and the stuff slowly sloping toward the rear just waiting to shift during the drive.
20. If you are moving close by maybe you could deep some things in dresser drawers and then put them right back in the dresser when you get there.
21. I forgot - liquor store boxes are great for glassware...
22. Having just completed a move, my only advice is that if you wish to remain sane, DON'T DO IT!!!
23. Now that I've read the comments above, my advice is: 1. send the kids away. 2. hire movers. 3. grab the wine and cheese and head for the Caribbean for the week!
I have some advice for anyone thinking of vacating their home and living in a temporary residence.
1. Don't do it.
2. Ok, if you have to, there are worse things in life. Like actually being homeless. So don't refer to yourself as homeless, because while unlikely, you actually could be homeless one day, and that is quite different.
3. Don't use PODS (Portable On Demand Storage). They cost an utter fortune and if you have any problem of any kind, you're on your own, sister!
First, Jerry opened the door of the pod (they are technically called PODS, even if you only have one, but that is awkward to say, so I will just call it a "pod" because I'm the boss around here.). It's like a garage door and there are metal guards that keep it from rolling too high and getting off track. Apparently my husband is the hulk because the door got jammed above the metal guards, which then kept the door from coming down at all. With a bunch of our crap inside. At 7 o'clock at night. The PODS people couldn't have cared less. They told us they didn't know what we were talking about and that there was no one to come look at it, and that they couldn't credit our account at all. They also told us that they did not have the home phone number for the franchisee in Jacksonville. Really? So you sold a franchise to someone and now cannot get in contact with them if they are not in their office? We are not morons. Luckily my dad IS Clark Griswold, so he came over and disassembled part of the door, closed and reassembled it. It was a two hour ordeal from when we realized the thing wouldn't close until my dad got it closed. Did PODS reimburse him for his time, gas, or tools? Nope. But we were thankful that someone could come to the rescue. PODS sent someone the next morning who told me everything looked great. Yup, because my dad fixed it the night before. Thanks for nothing.
4. Don't use PODS. We had to get a second pod delivered. We hated to do it, they are terrible people. But we already had one and it didn't make any sense to get a different variety of pod and send half our stuff somewhere else. So we paid for ANOTHER pod. :( And it was delivered full of COCKROACHES the day before our move!!! I wish I was making this up. Part of the pod directions is to load the pod, then set off a bug bomb (yes, all over your every possession) before it gets picked up. Um, ew. Also, cockroaches, ew. So I set off a bug bomb before loading it. You know, because I had time to make a special trip to walmart to buy one the day before moving. Should you ever have roach problems I do recommend Bengal Gold. It kills roaches on contact for 6 months. That is serious. The Raid Fogger did quite a job as well. And then there were dried up cockroaches with their legs in the air all over my driveway. Those lucky buyers didn't know they were getting shriveled up cockroaches with the house.
5. Don't use PODS. I requested an end of the day pick up for the day of our move. Naturally the PODS people called me at noon to see if we were ready. Because they had 40 pickups that day and they were on my side of town, and they couldn't just show up when everyone wanted them to. So I told the pod man everything I thought about his company and all of the ways they failed at their jobs in my calmest, quietest, serial-killerest voice. And he told me he'd call back in a few hours to see how we were coming.
6. Send your kids to camp the week of your move! This was NOT the original plan, but Ty got sick the week he was suppose to go to camp, so I let him choose which week he made it up. To my surprise and great delight he chose the moving week! I would never have forced that on him, moving in a big, emotional deal. But I think he'd decided he'd had enough packing and crazy mom to last a lifetime, so off to camp he went! And it was waaaaayy easier to get his room cleaned out and packed (THANK YOU MOM!) and the rest of the house packed with only half of my children there to make a mess.
7. If your friends are of the "helpful" variety, send out a list of things that you need help with. I put a list on facebook of what I needed help with and so many people responded. It was amazing. I think people want to help, but they are very busy already and they don't know what specifically they can do. If you tell them, "These 15 things are killing me" it might be easy for someone to stop by on their way to something and pick up your goodwill stuff. Or maybe they are great with tools and can disassemble one or two pieces of furniture or whatnot in a matter of minutes, but it would take you an hour or more. I think this is true of anything you need assistance with in life. Instead of drowning, try asking for specific help. People are actually kind of awesome if given the chance.
HERE IS THE MOST AMAZING MOVING ADVICE IN THE HISTORY OF EVER!! (It's from my helpful, loving friends. I have one specific helpful and loving friend who recently moved and did not provide any advice. She told me she had no advice to give because her move was such a disaster. Stephanie, here's some advice so next time won't be such a disaster!)
1. Start packing one room and do not start a 2nd room until that one is finished.
2. LABEL boxes with as much info as you can. 10 boxes all labeled "Kitchen" is not that helpful when you just need to find one really important thing--take it from one who has been there. :-)
3. Colour code the boxes in each room
4. Pack valuables and breakables up first, because they require more care and time to securely pack. That way as it gets down to crunch time and your're just randomly throwing stuff in giant boxes, you can rest assured that breakables and valuables are safely and perfectly packed up already.
5. Don't try to move with 2 children!....We're moving right now and 1 child unpacks the boxes faster than we can pack them...good luck! :-)
6. Order pizza, open bottle of wine....
7. When we moved last-someone told me to take hanging clothes-7-8 and place black garbage bag over it and it made moving all the hanging clothes easier-put masking tape to write which room.
8. Throw away as much as possible, your new house will accumulate the same junk guaranteed!
9. use towels to pack fragiles...kitchen towels, bath towels. First organize before you start packing getting rid of clothes and things no longer needed. Much less stuff to pack. Do one room at a time. Kitchen last. Anoyne can help pack kitchen dishes but only you can pack you room. Little bits throughout the day. I'll try to think of more. Will be packing here also. :)
10. I'm all about very specific labeling as well!
11. Having just moved to a new place two weeks ago (only moved a mile away and were blessed to spread the move over a week and a half), we were able to pack boxes, move to new place, unpack in the room they were going to be going into, and take boxes back to repack again. That way, some things got set up rather quickly, but then we also had "it's at the other place" moments as well. After moving 11 times in the past 20 years (yikes!), all the above advice is awesome. One thing we haven't done, but I threaten to do after every move, is that if we move again, we are either hiring it out to a moving company, or simply selling every last item (even the kids if they sit too long) and buying a camper. :) Good luck...and I'm keeping you all in my prayers!
12. Really basic, but small boxes for heavy things, larger ones for light things. Bedding and towels can go in big garbage bags. If you purchase white newspaper sheets for packing you wont have to scrub newsprint off your fragile stuff. Send the kids to gramma's house!
13. Hire someone!
14. Go ahead and pack up anything you can live without between now and the move. Packing up a few boxes right away might help you feel motivated and productive instead of overwhelmed. It will also help with the unpacking process once you're in the new house (if something was packed in one of the first boxes, it probably doesn't have to be unpacked right away). Be specific when labeling boxes (what room does it belong in, whose stuff is it, what is inside). Designating one spot in the house for your packed-up boxes to live until the move.
15. If you have to buy boxes, Home Depot has some great ones. We had to buy some there. I labeled specifically on the tops of boxes and then I just wrote a letter on each side (K = kitchen, L = living, J = Jocelyn's room, M = master, and so on) so we could easily take each box where it needed to be as we entered the new place. My only other piece of advice is just to keep making progress. Thinking about packing and moving everything drove me nuts, but just packing one box at a time felt more feasible. Oh, and choose one place in the house to stack most of the boxes as you pack them so you don't feel like you're living in boxland. (You'll feel like that long enough in the new place!) And call me if you need someone to commiserate with! We're in boxville, out of the old house 100% but not settled in the new place yet (just moved in 2.5 weeks ago).
16. Have a moving party! Hire your most trusted friends over for pizza and beer. Tell them that for every box that is packed appropriately and safely they can get a slice of pizza and a beer!
17. Pack everything. hand carrying single items to a truck wastes time & energy. I'd go with the Capt'n Morgan Black Spice Rum. One before the move, one mid-way then finish the bottle after the kids are tucked in. Oh yea because i'm a pastor do not forget to pray.
18. Anything you haven't used in a year can usually be tossed. Throw away as much as you can now (garbage, donate, etc) and unpacking will be much nicer.
I agree that towels and clothes are the best (and cheapest) way to pad breakables. If you want free packing paper, go to Publix on the last day of their sales circular and ask for their remaining old circulars.
Hospitals are the BEST places to get moving boxes. They get thousands of boxes a week and many of them are nice and sturdy. So try a drive by of their dumpster/loading dock area and/or ask to speak to someone in the loading dock area about boxes. Every hospital is different, but many are happy to cut down their garbage bill by giving you as many boxes as you like. My recent move was sponsored by Jackson North Hospital. My brother's by Aventura Hospital. ;) Liquore stores are the second best place to get boxes. You won't find the amount or the variety there, but their boxes are very sturdy. So are boxes for water bottles at the grocery store. If you still don't have enough boxes, try craigslist. Many people advertise their moving boxes in the free section. I once got all expensive uhaul boxes from someone who just wanted to get rid of them after a move.
Make sure that you pack cleaning supplies and tools in a well labeled and accessible box. You will likely need those first and more urgently than most anything else.
I agree that detailed labeling is the way to go. I had 5 kitchen boxes, but couldn't find glasses to give everyone a cold drink after moving for the life of me. I had to run out and buy plastic cups.
Invest in renting (or if you move a lot like me: buying) a handtruck for each of the stronger people who will be helping you move. It makes you much more efficient. I own one and always rent an additional one when I move. They are the most valuable pieces of moving equipment you will use. And unless you are actually moving appliances, don't get the appliance one. It is hard to maneuver.
Best of luck. I hate moving too.
19. A lot if good advice above. A lot of small boxes are better than a few big ones. Pack the truck with a few big items and then fill to the top above them. Usually an improperly truck has the front piled high and the stuff slowly sloping toward the rear just waiting to shift during the drive.
20. If you are moving close by maybe you could deep some things in dresser drawers and then put them right back in the dresser when you get there.
21. I forgot - liquor store boxes are great for glassware...
22. Having just completed a move, my only advice is that if you wish to remain sane, DON'T DO IT!!!
23. Now that I've read the comments above, my advice is: 1. send the kids away. 2. hire movers. 3. grab the wine and cheese and head for the Caribbean for the week!
Pretty amazing, huh? Really, when you're panicking and you have no idea what you are doing, how amazing is it to get specific directions tailored to you? Besides getting some direction on how the heck to pack and move, I felt LOVED! Thank you friends!!
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Climbing Mountains
Today was Ty's 5th Grade Completion Ceremony. It's like graduation, but Duval county is of the belief that you don't graduate until you graduate high school (touche DCPS...), so you "move on" to a new grade or level or "complete" a grade or school. Which is factual and a little less exciting than a "graduation".
The teachers gave out awards- 5th grade completion, awards for A or A/B honor all year, A citizenship all year, perfect attendance all year, book standard, turnaround student, and the classes voted on superlatives. Also, the principal gave out a few awards. Tyrell got 5th grade completion and science fair participant.
To be honest, it was kind of a buzz kill. Because I know how hard Tyrell has worked and how far he has come. And I am UNBELIEVABLY PROUD OF HIM!!!!!!
I recently read where an adoptive mom referred to her kids' struggles as "climbing mountains, in the snow, with no feet". It is so true. I had the most loving, nurturing upbringing and I still A) rely on my parents for advice and emotional support and B) doubt myself and struggle with negative self talk. Basically Tyrell had none of that for the first ten years of his life. None. N. O. N. E. He spent 10 years knowing that no one truly cared about him and would put his life before their own. So can you (or I) blame him when he pulls away from the love and support he now receives?
He made the school spelling bee. He is performing at grade level at school (he wasn't at the beginning of the year). He plays team sports. He has friends. He laughs at jokes (he didn't used to). He controls his anger almost all the time. He works hard. He's started letting his creativity out. He learned to swim. He can be around some of his triggers and not lose it. He tells me he loves me and sometimes he hugs and kisses me. He has climbed mountains, in the snow, with no feet.
I don't doubt that his teachers have noticed, because they have told me how well he is doing, how proud they are of him, how much his test scores have improved throughout the year, etc. I know they have seen a lot of progress at school. But they must not really know the depth of what he has and is overcoming. Because I am fighting the urge to throw him a party. A big, fat, gypsy-inspired party. (No, I am not being discriminatory, watch TLC. Gypsies know how to party. Fact.)
I guess I just wish he was publicly acknowledged for all of his efforts. I want the rest of the world to recognize everything I see in him. Perhaps that's not realistic. I don't know that I've ever been all that realistic. Jerry and I are flabbergasted by the amount of ground Ty has made up academically this year. We give a huge amount of credit to his teachers. I wrote thank you cards to them about a month ago, and this week I wrote a 3 page letter to the principal explaining exactly how this school year has affected Ty, specifically what his teachers have done to help him. They have supported and encouraged him as a person and his efforts academically. I will be forever grateful to them for changing Tyrell's academic direction.
Here is my mountain climber with his fabulous teachers at the completion ceremony this evening.
Here's to you, Ty. I wish you believed all of the wonderful truths I know about you. I wish the world knew the height and depth and length of all you have overcome. I love you infinite.
The teachers gave out awards- 5th grade completion, awards for A or A/B honor all year, A citizenship all year, perfect attendance all year, book standard, turnaround student, and the classes voted on superlatives. Also, the principal gave out a few awards. Tyrell got 5th grade completion and science fair participant.
To be honest, it was kind of a buzz kill. Because I know how hard Tyrell has worked and how far he has come. And I am UNBELIEVABLY PROUD OF HIM!!!!!!
I recently read where an adoptive mom referred to her kids' struggles as "climbing mountains, in the snow, with no feet". It is so true. I had the most loving, nurturing upbringing and I still A) rely on my parents for advice and emotional support and B) doubt myself and struggle with negative self talk. Basically Tyrell had none of that for the first ten years of his life. None. N. O. N. E. He spent 10 years knowing that no one truly cared about him and would put his life before their own. So can you (or I) blame him when he pulls away from the love and support he now receives?
He made the school spelling bee. He is performing at grade level at school (he wasn't at the beginning of the year). He plays team sports. He has friends. He laughs at jokes (he didn't used to). He controls his anger almost all the time. He works hard. He's started letting his creativity out. He learned to swim. He can be around some of his triggers and not lose it. He tells me he loves me and sometimes he hugs and kisses me. He has climbed mountains, in the snow, with no feet.
I don't doubt that his teachers have noticed, because they have told me how well he is doing, how proud they are of him, how much his test scores have improved throughout the year, etc. I know they have seen a lot of progress at school. But they must not really know the depth of what he has and is overcoming. Because I am fighting the urge to throw him a party. A big, fat, gypsy-inspired party. (No, I am not being discriminatory, watch TLC. Gypsies know how to party. Fact.)
I guess I just wish he was publicly acknowledged for all of his efforts. I want the rest of the world to recognize everything I see in him. Perhaps that's not realistic. I don't know that I've ever been all that realistic. Jerry and I are flabbergasted by the amount of ground Ty has made up academically this year. We give a huge amount of credit to his teachers. I wrote thank you cards to them about a month ago, and this week I wrote a 3 page letter to the principal explaining exactly how this school year has affected Ty, specifically what his teachers have done to help him. They have supported and encouraged him as a person and his efforts academically. I will be forever grateful to them for changing Tyrell's academic direction.
Here is my mountain climber with his fabulous teachers at the completion ceremony this evening.
.JPG) |
| Mrs. Jones |
.JPG) |
| Mr. L. |
Here's to you, Ty. I wish you believed all of the wonderful truths I know about you. I wish the world knew the height and depth and length of all you have overcome. I love you infinite.
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