My heart will be green on Tuesday. Green with love. Green with gratefulness. Green with redemption. Green for a bone marrow transplant.
As the first anniversary of Eli's death approached in 2016 I set my sights on a bone marrow registration drive. I set my sights HIGH. I contacted the regional rep for Be The Match and explained what I wanted to do. He said he would send me a registration drive box, a box complete with 25 registration kits. 25? Did this dude not know what I was about to do and the hundreds of people who were about to be added to the bone marrow registry? I asked him for more and he obligingly sent me a few more boxes.
Well, he knew way more than me, namely how challenging it is to get anyone to sign up as a bone marrow donor. It takes an unbelievable amount of education along with an open-ended ask, which makes it a very hard sell.
For our very proper drive we had a table and a tent set up at a food truck rally with thousands of people. I had friends there to help talk to people. Probably a couple dozen folks I knew in real life came to the rally just to register. That was wonderful! However, I don't think a single person who came to that food truck rally to eat decided to register.
Reality slammed into my expectations and combined with my big feelings of the anniversary of Eli's death, it wasn't pretty. I was frustrated and disheartened.
But I wasn't done trying. I called a couple church people from a few different churches and got all set to bring my big story and my big ask to church. And I did, and people were much more responsive. That is likely due to the fact that most of those people had followed Eli and prayed for us. They already had a connection. I ended up with about 50 registrations that I sent in, and decided that was close enough to call a success. But still my frustration with the general public on the matter was damage that had been done.
Since I sent those boxes back I haven't thought too much about the bone marrow registration drive. Until this weekend.
A close acquaintance from years ago sent me a message Sunday morning. She had registered when I spoke at church, but mostly swabbed her cheek and prayed she'd never match. She wasn't one for needles. But a few months ago she was contacted by Be The Match. She was a preliminary match for someone needing a bone marrow transplant. She learned the recipient was the same age as her brother. That's a hard thing to shake. So she agreed to more testing and it turns out she's a 10/10 match for this person. She's allowed her body to be poked and prodded and pumped with drugs to stimulate her bone marrow and now she's going to donate stem cells to save someone's life. Someone who has no other option, no familial match. Someone's person gets a second chance at life. Because my friend saw her brother in the description of the donor. Because my friend decided Eli was worth joining the registry. Because I was frustrated with people not caring and wouldn't give up until I had more registrations. Because I didn't want the first anniversary of Eli's death to pass without doing something that would spread love and life. Because Eli died in the first place.
When I think of that bone marrow registration drive I think about being out in the July heat and nobody giving a crap about saving a life. I think of it as a very marginal success, thanks to the churches that let me come share and give people an opportunity to register. That's not fair to all of the people who selflessly signed up to be poked and prodded, should they match anyone needing a second chance to live. I'm incredibly grateful to my friend for saying yes that day, and saying yes again when she was called on for real. I'm grateful to every single person that registered, and to every person that was willing but didn't meet the criteria. Your generosity is hope for hundreds of thousands of people.
For me? My friend's bone marrow donation is something akin to redemption.
