So, it's been awhile. A lot has been happening, and not a lot has been happening, all at the same time. Ty started middle school. I had a birthday. (No, I really am 29, I promise!) We went to Guatemala and back. The kids are doing well, we're settled pretty nicely into our house (if you ignore the boxes that are still mostly everywhere).
My friends aren't doing well, though. It's been weighing pretty heavy on me.
"When you go through deep waters I will be with you." Isaiah 43:2
Have you ever read the book
The Giver, by Lois Lowry? It is one of my all time faves. I'm not going to explain it, just go read it if you haven't. You can thank me later. :)
I feel a tiny bit like the main character in
The Giver, who takes on all the pain and suffering for the Utopian society. I'm not trying to be dramatic, I only said a tiny bit. But some of my friends are going through some of the most terrible, unspeakable things right now, through no fault of their own. Disrupted adoption, cancer, infidelity of the worst kind, abuse, heart attack (healthy! young! shocking!), alcoholism. I'm so very sad. It feels as though I am grieving for my friends. They are broken and I feel broken with them. I recognize that all of these things aren't mine to completely own all by myself. I also recognize that there's not a heck of a lot I can do about any of these circumstances. I can pray and I can be an encouragement, but mostly I get to watch my friends go through these super sucky things. I am not a fan.
One thing I have observed is other friends circling the wagons and showing up for the friends who are struggling. It is awe-inspiring. Friends who have had little communication for 10+ years have shown up with a hug and dragged a struggling friend to dinner so they could get their mind off things for a little while. Or sent a care package. Or called. By and large, it appears people have been kind and supportive to my friends, and not complete a-holes, which is awesome!
Even though I'm writing about how broken I feel, I'm so much better than I was at the beginning of the weekend. On Friday night I was a foul person on the inside. I couldn't talk or think. I tried to talk to Jerry and of course I burst into tears. After seeing all the love the past few days, and a good amount of prayerful meditation, it's not quite as bad. I'm not quite as burdened. Don't get me wrong, it's bad. So many of my friends have to go to work tomorrow and function and pretend everything is fine, when it most certainly is not fine. But I don't think any of them feel completely alone. I think they know they have people there to catch them. I hope they know. I hope they remember when tomorrow comes.
If you know anyone that is hurting, please reach out to them. You don't have to know what to say. I don't ever know what to say. That's mostly why I give people bible verses. I figure God's words are far superior to mine anyway. But when someone is struggling, it's easy for them to feel alone. Just knowing that someone is thinking about them and cares about them makes a big difference. Who knows? Maybe you reaching out to encourage someone will be an encouragement for someone else to reach out as well!
