Reset

I love you, Lord

and I lift my voice

to worship you.

Oh , my soul, rejoice!

Take joy, my King,

in what you hear.

May it be a sweet, sweet sound

in your ear.

I've known that song as long as I can remember. It's always been centering for me. Sort of resets me. Like fresh air. 

I've been singing it to Eli pretty much from the beginning. Well, I've been humming it to him. A few months ago I decided maybe I should sing the words, because at some point he'd learn it after hearing it every night before falling asleep. So I started singing. Sometimes he sings along now, in his sleepy, sing-songy voice. My heart gets extra squeezy on those nights.

We're in a good sleep phase at this very moment in time. I acknowledge that it could change at any moment. 

But there was a very. long. time. that I was so desperate for sleep I would cry at least every other time E woke up in the night. So I would hum this song to him, hoping it would help him relax and feel comforted enough to drift off. I don't know if it ever did that, but it helped me relax and feel comforted. It reminded me who I belong to and the importance of the work I do.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.
Colossians 3:23

It doesn't matter what kind of a day it's been. It doesn't matter how many hours I've slept (nor not slept). It's best not to keep track of that. It doesn't matter how many tantrums I've endured, what I've cleaned out of where (best not to keep track of that, either), whether or not I've bathed myself or any children, or any other myriad ways I can fail or feel discouraged. 

The work I do matters because I do it for the Lord. I am in the spot where He has placed me. 

The diapers, the driving to and from school, the coaxing into the carseat, the reading the same book 15 times in a row, the "watch me make a basket", the listening, the not snapping (or trying really really hard and still snapping anyway), it all matters, even when it feels insignificant in the moment. 

And if at the end of the day I get a single minute with a calmed toddler snuggling into my neck, and I remember that my whole life is an act of worship, and that this moment, the snuggling and the singing, is an act of worship, then time stops just briefly. I am brought back to center. I am reset. 

And I am ready for more.