#carnivore

So, I'm basically attempting to inflate my iron level, as it is unlikely, but has been mentioned that if they decide to give Eli a certain blood product they could filter it from my blood. This way it would be fresher (less cells to die off while it's on a shelf or shipped) and multiple transfusions could come from a single donor (less antibodies to be added to Eli's cocktail of antibodies). But my iron is typically on the low end, sometimes too low. It's not a big deal to me, but doctors seem to dislike anemia, and also pushing people into anemia. So I need to boost my iron quickly, I don't care if it's temporary. 

Our bodies don't absorb iron well. They absorb iron from meat at a rate of 30% and iron from plant foods and fortified grains at a rate of 10%-20%. I'm not interested in gradually and healthfully increasing my iron level. I want that baby inflated in under a week. So, meat. Lots of meat. 

Sometimes I just forget to eat meat. I'm not really into it. Today I ate a burger and wanted to pump my stomach, I felt so sick. It wasn't the meat so much as the grease that came with it. It was a freshly prepared burger, not fast food, so I figured I was making a decent decision. Ugh. Then I didn't feel up to eating dinner and realized at 8:30 I had missed the meat window at the hospital. Meat fail. Tomorrow it's chicken liver tacos. I found a restaurant here that makes them. Hopefully they'll taste more like taco and less like chicken liver...

Everything I have to say about prepping my iron for a small possibility of blood letting can be said in hashtags. You're welcome. ;)

#jesustakethewheel #addthattomyresume #meathangover #allmeatallthetime #meathead #moremeatmoreproblems #eatmeatdonatebloodsavealife #carnivore #iwishcheesehadiron 

How to celebrate Valentine's Day

When I grow up I want to be like my 16 year old cousin, Carly. She and her friends are having a "gal"entines get together (thank you Amy Poehler for my favorite word!) where they will be making blankets for kiddos in the hospital. I mean, were you this noble when you were 16? Carly is also wildly smart, hilarious, thoughtful, just, and beautiful. I just love her!
Anyway, what a beautiful way to celebrate valentines day, a day that usually leads to so many let downs, so much wasted money, just ugh. I have long wished to not celebrate valentines day, just because expressions of love are more meaningful on a day when they're not required. I'm also crowd averse, so please let's just stay home and boycott valentines day with a pizza on the couch. But Carly officially wins at valentines day. She is celebrating love by showing love to those could use a little extra.
Inspired by Carly, here are some ways to truly celebrate valentines day and spread the love:
(some of these are very specific to my geographical location and life, but there are similar scenarios near you, I promise)

- make blankets for kiddos or adults who are in the hospital. If you're not sure where to take them, I know a few places, or you can contact the child life department at your nearest children's hospital. The Child Life folks will know just what to do.

- bring a few bouquets of roses (de-thorned!) to a nursing home and pass out single roses to the residents and wish them a happy valentines day. It's likely been awhile since most of those folks have received a flower, and a flower can brighten a day. Kids passing out the flowers would make this exponentially better.

- I would love to be able to take a load of healthy snacks to the family lounge at the hem/onc unit at Wolfson. It's very challenging having a child in the hospital, and it's very challenging to leave your child's hospital room to get a meal, much less a healthy meal. At Wolfson there is a family lounge that is always open with coffee and hot water (sometimes/usually tea bags), a microwave, tables and chairs, and a tv. It looks out over the river. On several occasions people have donated snacks for the lounge, and they always go fast, but are always so very appreciated.  It's meant a lot to me when someone considered the parents and delivered healthy things like bananas, apples, individually packaged cups of microwaveable oatmeal, granola bars, individual packs of crackers or trail mix, etc.

-Bring flowers to someone who has lost a loved one in the past year, especially a spouse or a child.

-make a connection and forgive someone who you have been holding a grudge against or estranged from. Far be it from me to tell you what to do, but it is a great act of love.

-hand write a letter to your child's teacher telling him/her the things you appreciate about them.

-babysit the kids of a single parent so s/he can have some time to him/herself.

-get background checked and fingerprinted and sign up to offer respite babysitting services to foster parents

-I'm still working on this one. I'd like to do something for some patients at the VA hospital across the street from our hospital. My resources are a bit limited, it's not like I can buy flowers and go pass them out. I need to be able to do something from our hospital and walk over to deliver it to the VA hospital and come right back. I can't leave Eli alone very long. I don't have space, access to a craft store, or much time. I have my crochet stuff, but I'm pretty slow. Anyone have any thoughts? Should Eli and I just make valentines cards?

There are at least a thousand more ways to show love on valentines day. What do you have in mind?

"He's awake!" and other ways medical people are not helpful

Sitting in the surgical waiting room, I hear several families get called to go see their child in recovery.  The nurse calls the family's name, and the family rushes toward the door. As they walk across the threshold the nurse announces, "He's awake!" in a boisterous, cheerful tone.
Let me tell you, I want to punch* her for that family. Because when she announces to me that my child is awake, it will not be a comforting statement. "He did well", "He's doing fine/great/good", "Everything went exactly as planned", these are somewhat comforting statements. Hearing he's awake is not comforting, because it tells me he's terrified, because I'm not with him. He's scared when he wakes up at night if I'm not there. He's scared when he wakes up from a nap if I'm not there. And you can bet your sweet bippy that if he wakes up in recovery and I'm not there he is going to be scared. You have procedures and protocol and policies, I get it. But please don't use this opportunity to remind me of my son's fear, especially when there is nothing I can do about it.
There is a good chunk of medical professionals who act like this is all just everyday life. And for them it is. It is their everyday work life. When it is your real, actual everyday life, it is exhausting and terrifying and frustrating. I get that you as a medical professional can't necessarily emotionally engage with all (or any?) of your patients for your own sanity. That makes sense. I'm not unreasonable. But do you know what is not helpful for exhaustion, terror, and frustration? Cheerfulness. Cheerfulness glosses over true feelings and experiences. Do you know what acknowledges the hard paths your patients are on? Compassion. Helpfulness. Calm. Empathy. Listening. These are things that help communicate that you see the patient. Being cheerful tells me you are not on my team and you do not really care.

*the urge to punch is really not her fault. Most of the time it is bubbling just below the surface these days, waiting for any small reason to poke its head out.