Forget WebMD. You want to really be convinced you are dying? Watch the news. There have been multiple reports this year on flesh-eating bacteria, something I assumed was reserved for campfire stories and BONES. (I've never watched that show, but it just sounds like something that would be discovered on there.)
It turns out flesh-eating bacteria is EVERYWHERE!!!!!! People are losing life and limb to it at an alarming rate. It's happening, folks.
What I have deduced is that in all the cases, the person one day didn't feel good (that's awfully general) and had a rapidly spreading bruise. Then they went to the hospital and either died or lost multiple limbs. What the what??
So, I keep noticing bruises. On my person. And making mental measurements of them so I will be able to tell if they "rapidly spread". I don't mean to do this, but let's say I'm shaving my legs and I see a bruise that I hadn't noticed before. Suddenly I'm trying to figure out how long it has been there- an hour, a day, two days? Then I have to assess the approximate size- a quarter? No, bigger than a quarter, maybe a half dollar? When was the last time I even saw a half dollar? I can't be sure how big one is...
The thing is, I seem to get a lot of bruises these days. No, not like anemia, more like I moved twice in the last 2 months and I have a toddler that has flailing tantrums sometimes on me multiple times a day.
So I'm pretty sure I have flesh-eating bacteria. Again. I hope it resolves itself. Again. ;)
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