A couple days before Eli's memorial service I decided I needed to address my looks. 6 months of irregular hygiene and zero beauty regimen, on top of the 11 months of stress doesn't exactly do great things for a person's face. Knowing I would be standing before a crowd of people in a few days, I decided at the bare minimum I needed an eyebrow wax, and then I could reassess from there.
Of all the salons and nail shops I've ever tried, there is actually only one place that does not cause my skin to break out where it's been waxed. Unfortunately because an eyebrow wax takes approximately 7 minutes total, I've taken Eli with me a time or two in the past to this one and only nail shop. Also unfortunately, the folks that own said nail shop I go to have a little boy a year or so younger than Eli. Eli has played with this little boy before.
I thought about how I really needed to go and address some situations with my face so I could be as comfortable as possible at Eli's memorial service. I also thought about how I couldn't possibly go and have to answer questions about where my son was. Naturally I made a friend take me.
Amy and I get to the nail shop at 10:30am on the day before Eli's service, a Friday. Amy goes in first to more or less say, "Hey, my friend's kid just died. Don't ask about him. She needs her eyebrows waxed." and comes back to the car to get me. We go in the nail shop and it is packed. There are four or five people getting a pedicure and at least another three waiting. The man who owns the shop asks me what I want. The entire population of the nail shop stares at me. I tell him I want my eyebrows waxed. Everyone keeps staring. He apologizes to both me and Amy and says he doesn't have time for an eyebrow wax right now. The staring continues. We stammer through a brief conversation on whether or not we had an appointment (nope) and what time later in the day they can address my eyebrows. It's possible I was imagining things (I wasn't), but the staring from every customer in the store never waned.
The staring I've experienced is one of my least favorite things in life. It's like being a celebrity, only a thousand times more terrible. Who doesn't love being stared at? Oh just everyone on the face of the earth.
Tomorrow we're going to church. It's been a long time. I'm looking forward to worshipping together with our people, but I'm also a tad nervous. I'm nervous about the possibility of people staring and about the possibility that I'll perceive staring that isn't happening. Either way that sounds super uncomfortable and a touch crazy, so it should be fun for us all. ;)
Going back to church will likely be easier than I'm anticipating, or harder for different and/or unexpected reasons. But it's just another "normal" thing I get to go do without Eli.
*dont get your undies in a bunch. You probably haven't stared at me. Looking and greeting are different than staring.
You're Awesome Lisa!💕
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