If Eli was here we never would have done this. I would have been home falling asleep to a movie on cable with the baby monitor buzzing static from my nightstand.
But Eli's not here. So we do new things, or at least different things. We don't yet keep much of a schedule.
I'm anxious and hopeful we'll be able to see the meteor shower from the beach. Jerry is driving us and Ty's buddy who is sleeping over is along as well. Everyone is in a light, joking mood. We haven't intentionally spent much time together as a family and it's easier with Ty's friend here. Takes a little pressure off to "feel like a family".
It's a strange mix of feelings. I love the night. Always have. I love being able to go watch a meteor shower, and taking my big boy to go see one. But the only reason I get do it is because Eli is gone.
Getting to go find a dark place for a meteor shower doesn't make it okay or sweeten the shit deal we got. It's not a silver lining. It's just how life is right now.
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