Happy Birthday, Maxwell!

Today is Maxwell's first birthday! But he's celebrating in heaven and his parents and big sister celebrated here on earth. Ugh! I know. 

Maxwell was Eli's next door neighbor at Duke in BMT (bone marrow transplant unit) and also in PICU. He was born with leukemia and his parents found out when he was one month old. After that Maxwell fought every day of his life. He gifted the world nine extra months to know him and learn from him, because he kept fighting.

For Maxwell's birthday his parents asked friends to do random acts of kindness in his honor, but also to tell his story. I wanted to do something meaningful. I started the day making a small donation in Maxwell's honor to Bryant's team who will be participating in a cancer walk next month. 

I wanted to do more, but today is also the anniversary of when Eli got sick. Or rather, when the dam broke and his condition finally manifested itself. One year ago tonight I was holding a sleeping Eli in an ER triage room, while we waited to be transferred up to Weaver 4 for the first time (of many). Remembering that day without my little man to hold in my arms now sucks just as much as you think it does. So today I went to the beach with a friend. 

But I still thought about Maxwell. 

I have a friend who I knew years before either of us had kids. In the last year she has been dealt an exceptionally crummy hand in life. Last week I thought about bringing her dinner on what I knew would be an intense day for her. But I didn't. I went back to bed. Now that it was Maxwell's birthday and I had been charged with performing an act of kindness I had the perfect opportunity to try again to bless my old friend. 

My beach friend and I went to Costco and bought several meals and a variety of lunch box food and snacks. We came home and made PB&J sandwiches out of 2 loaves of bread and packed dozens of snack baggies with carrot sticks and ranch cups.

 I took a giant box of prepared meals and snacks to my old friend tonight. I told her about Maxwell and his fight. I told her that at Maxwell's funeral his mom said, "Maxwell fought so hard for life because life is worth fighting for." I told her that so often I say things don't matter, or nothing matters, because that's what it feels like right now. But I also told her that was wrong, that SHE matters, and her kids matter, and what she is doing in her life matters. This friend is fierce. She refuses to sink. She absolutely insists on rising from the ashes no matter how long it takes or how hard she has to work (she's doing pretty amazing at it). She is #MaxwellStrong.

Happy birthday in heaven, Maxwell!