A month ago

I have lots to say. But it's mostly still in my head. I've jotted some notes and thoughts, but that's about it.
Tonight all I can think is one month ago. Eli started to do a little bit better with his breathing and I convinced the doctors he could handle the CT scan. The scan revealed pneumonia hiding in his lung behind his heart, which ultimately caused the respiratory failure, which is listed on the death certificate.
I wish time would stop passing. I didn't like going from July to August. Now August is flying by. It's getting longer since I last held him. I hate that.
One of our Duke BMT friends recently hit day +93. That was how many days Eli made it.