These days and Ruth

I've been reading and re-reading the book of Ruth. I'm feeling much more Old Testament these days and I love strong women. 

I've also been hearing the song "Drag Me Down" on the radio all the dadgum time. It seems no one can drag One Direction down. I'm always surprised when a catchy song that I like turns out to be by One Direction. Oh well. 

Drag Me Down keeps making me think of Ruth and Naomi. Sure there is a level of self-importance that I think Naomi doesn't share with these modern boys, but really it's a song about the loyalty of one person. 

Here is the chorus:

All my life
You stood by me
When no one else was ever behind me
All these lights
They can't blind me
With your love, nobody can drag me down

It's not perfect. But Naomi had no one, except Ruth. Ruth abandoned everything (which wasn't much, but still) in order to be Naomi's person, with no reward or outside influence that we can see. She decided to be loyal to her mother in law in the face of tragedy. Eventually something grand came of that loyalty, through Ruth's marriage to Boaz (which probably saved Ruth's and Naomi's lives), and generations later meant Ruth was part of the genealogy of David and then of Jesus. Oh, BTW, Ruth was a foreigner. So there's a lot going on in those 4 chapters in the middle of the Old Testament. 

Today I stopped by a bookstore because I was going to be a couple of minutes early to pick up Ty, and well, books. I picked up a copy of A Grief Observed by CS Lewis. The guy at the cash register asked me how my day was going. I avoided eye contact and stammered, "Umm, not great." Dude, I'm buying THE book on grief. Small talk is not an option. It's like if I'm buying monistat or immodium or whatever at Walgreens, I really don't want to have a conversation with the cashier. However, I don't think my grief is a reason to be indiscriminately rude to people, so I did look him in the eye and give him a straight faced "thank you" when he handed me my receipt and my book. 

Conveniently, A Grief Observed is a short book of four chapters. After I got home I took my book to bed and fell asleep after the first chapter. Grief is exhausting. Reading a book that mirrors your entire experience of grief is also exhausting. I don't know how long I slept...an hour or two. I was awake by dinner time. 

I figured I'd be up all night, or at least for all of Monday night football, so I could witness my middle school fantasy football opponent drive a nail in my coffin with his kicker. (UGH! Seriously, UGH!) But then a friend texted me and needed me to stay with one of her kids while she takes the other to the ER. I'm happy to do it. If Eli was here I wouldn't be as able to. That doesn't make it okay or give me some magical purpose, but it is an opportunity to do the next right thing. I care about my friend and of course I will be part of her village. 

I guess now I know if I have a hard time sleeping I can just read A Grief Observed and be worn out almost immediately.