Friday, November 17, 2017

When Griefs Collide

It’s been three years since Bryant left this earth. Since I said the world was less bright without him in it. It still is. I feel for his mama and brothers today more than usual because I know their pain and I also had a front row seat for part of his last weeks here. It was terrible, and it wasn’t Bryant. Bryant was everything light and fun and imaginative and exciting. I’m so glad I knew him.

Today I crocheted a taco Christmas ornament for a 6-year-old boy in Georgia who is dying of DIPG. DIPG is a terminal childhood brain cancer. Not one person with DIPG has ever survived it. This little boy just loves Christmas and wants more ornaments to hang on a tree. He is in hospice care. He’s survived 20 months, twice the average, since his diagnosis. In pictures he is so swollen from treatment and steroids you would never ever recognize him. It reminded me so much of Eli. Like a knife in the heart. I hate the shit these kids go through. It kills me.

An ornament I ordered months ago came today. It’s a primitive looking mom with a baby strapped onto her in a carrier. I had the option to personalize it with limited hair colors and carrier colors, so it’s representative of the baby carrier I used for Eli. I got that maroon carrier when he was 3 months old and used it every single day until he was walking and would no longer be restrained. That thing soothed him and sometimes was the only way to get him to stop screaming or fall asleep. To receive the ornament in the mail today was emotional. 


My heart is aching for three little boys today. 

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