the human brain: making sense of reality since the beginning of human history

On Friday Tyrell got a concussion during his football game. It was technically a clean hit, but my heart didn't feel that way when my baby went down. You know the law of physics that says, "an object in motion stays in motion until an equal or opposite force acts upon it"? That's pretty much what happened. Ty went down hard. But he got up and trotted off the field. Initially I thought he was okay. But shortly afterward I was summoned to the sideline and the athletic trainer started explaining the concussion tests she put Ty through, which parts he failed, and the protocol going forward. Ty finished the game sitting on the trainer's table with ice on the back of his neck for nausea.
On the way home he started feeling worse and was having sharp pains when he breathed. So we went to the ER to get him looked at. All the X-rays and scans came back perfect. A concussion doesn't show up in a ct scan, but the hospital did verify that Ty had no bleeding or fractures in his skull, and that he had no rib fractures or lung collapse. *Just* a concussion. A traumatic brain injury.
When your brain is injured it requires rest in order to heal. How does one rest a brain? Basically, sleep a lot and lay on the couch without doing anything. No screens- cell phones, tablets, TVs, video games, computers, etc. No reading or schoolwork. (Really!) No physical activity that raises the heart rate at all. Rest, rest, and rest some more. That is HARD for anyone, but especially an active and social teenager.
Tyrell woke up Saturday morning feeling and acting like himself. His chest was bruised, but otherwise he felt fine. He slept a lot of the day. By Sunday he was getting stir crazy. I felt bad that he couldn't watch any football at all. He decided to go fishing with a friend in the neighborhood ponds. I figured fishing was about as mindless of an activity as any. I did send him out with a hat and sunglasses to protect his eyes and brain from sunlight. I likely let him fish too long, but I was grateful that he was doing something he enjoyed and not moping at me that he couldn't have his phone.
On Sunday evening Ty heard me talking to my dad about hurricane Matthew and the imminent effects it would have on Haiti. He asked a couple questions, thought for a minute, and said, "I'm going to fish this week and for every fish I catch I'll donate $1 to help Haiti." What a kid. Then it was my turn to ask questions. I asked him to clarify his plan a bit and if he was interested in letting people know who might want to sponsor him. He agreed and I put it out on social media. So far if he catches 100 fish he'll raise over $850 for hurricane relief in Haiti*.
Stay tuned!
As I think through all of these events I am tempted to connect the concussion to the fishing sponsorships. Ty only went fishing (for the first time in many months) because he got concussed and had no other choices he liked. If he hadn't gone fishing, due to the concussion, he may never have thought about how he can help. The human brain wants so badly to say, "this is why this thing happened", to explain away and reason out reality, apply meaning to the meaningless. Just because our brains are inclined to do that doesn't make it true. Ty didn't get a concussion just so he would go fishing and then have a bright idea to use fishing as a motivation to help people. He got a concussion because he took a hard hit in his football game on Friday.
I will say this until I die: not everything happens for a reason.
There is a better way, though. Instead of attempting to pull reason out of unreasonable circumstances, we have the opportunity and the brain function to respond well when we are faced with hard things. We can fully acknowledge our disappointments and tragedies alike and say, "This will not end me. I will respond with grace and goodness." That's not easy and it doesn't make life's hard realities any less hard. It does make life worthwhile. It does make the world a better place. Whether or not you can tell in the trenches, it's a positive move.
The lessons, the personal changes, and the relationship changes are not the reasons that things happen. They are just our human responses to disappointments and crises.



*If you are moved to sponsor Ty as well, pick whatever formula or method works for you: a dollar a fish, a quarter a fish, a dime a fish, or a flat amount. I'll post on Sunday night with how many fish he caught and where he would like anyone to donate. It's the honor system around here. ;)