Hospital Hacks

Things that make the hospital a little less awful....
This is a work in progress. If you have anything else to add, let me know!

Cheerios + m&ms = hospital trail mix

Lemon juice packet + sugar packet + washcloth = hospital facial

3-4 smashed up icee pops (flav-or-ice) + 7up or ginger ale = slushie
Can't take credit for that one. My new friend Ronnie taught me that.

If you ever find yourself in need of a shower curtain and no shower curtain to be had, a flat sheet works marvelously. Just drape it over the rod. Shower curtains aren't allowed in BMT, so that's what they recommend to do. I can't believe how well it works.

Disconnect the hospital phone from the wall when you're going to sleep. There are so many beeps and noises already, you don't need a wrong number calling you at 1am. Or 6am. Voice of experience here.

Hospital issue toothbrushes last about 2 weeks. Plan accordingly.

Body lotion will totally double as hair conditioner in an emergency.

Inquire about any meds scheduled for overnight. Some hospitals (cough :Duke:) automatically schedule certain meds for certain times, like a diuretic at noon and midnight, or an oral med at 2pm and 2am. Because apparently it's never occurred to them that an actual human being who is already sick and in need of rest will have to wake up and pee 12 times, or wake up to take a med, when they could have just scheduled it according to normal human activity.

I highly recommend bringing your own socks, blanket, and toilet paper. The hospital version of these 3 items is dreadful.

Netflix on a tablet

Put a sign on your door instructing any and every one to see the nurse before coming in. And talk with your nurse about whether you want random medical people waking you up if you happen to be napping.

Nothing makes a doctor come to your room faster than you stepping into the bathroom. I have no solution, just prepare to yell, "I'll be out in a second" at least 5 times a week. And no they don't come at the same time each day, or even close to it.

Ask if there is a caregiver discount in the cafeteria/food carts.

Bring slippers or slip on shoes. Not flip flops or anything that laces/ties.